The Boxes

by Coleen Dirk

THE BOXES

She came walking in, her countenance, her movements revealing, her thoughts...here we go again .... her heart already guarded.

On her face she carried the anguish, the fear, nothing else was known. No vision or dream would conquer. the rejections already formed in those boxes

She entered their lives anticipating how long Rejection became complacent in her world all alone, Yet prepared her for the others who would help her survive. Would the days shortened in those boxes given her more?

She embraced them completely, They knew what others will never know. To help survive the things she knew she would never tell, things they alone had shared

Now this family so idealistic reaching out to her, she entered with the others, to endure another journey, knowing it could not last, allowing nothing of herself, to escape to be loved

The voices told her she must be more, so she would awkwardly fly to places that others feared, places where she could not be reached, her thoughts she lived in more

How would she cope with what she knew She grieved losses in her moments of silence. Alone so alone four sides of nothing, this was her home, the voices her only sanity.

When she entered their home, all they saw was beauty, intelligence and possibilities, amazing how she was.

Did she view them as idiots for not knowing there was more? they did everything wrong, they knew nothing, they were foolish, and careless with love

But where were their boxes? There were no boxes. Perhaps this was different, but no she could not let go of what she didn't know. Something called for her and something followed.. her wherever she could go

She would go too far and for so long and Every time she returned her heart was damaged more and the voices were louder than before. Louder and stronger requiring more

She struck out in ways that were hard and painful oh so painful and she felt it. It was all overwhelming the further she would go, further and further away, until one day she stayed away

Why could she not tell us, why could she not say The boxes made me this way

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