Who am I?
Who am I is the question that we all ask at one stage of our life's and sometimes we ask it more than once it just is a question that for some reason we never find the answer to and the reason for this is we are so many people in our life time that knowing who you as a person are, is the hardest thing to take the time to find out. We all think that because we have a gender that, that is who we are.
Well here is my journey of finding out who I am?
I am female
I am a mother
I am a wife
I am a friend
I am a daughter
I am a sister
But lately I feel like I need to know who I am that apart from all these labels I am a person a individual, I am me.
I am a female, who with this label I do the female things like wearing make up looking good all the time and can handle anything that life, throws at me. That if I have a bad day I am premenstrual well why can't I just have a bad day every once in a while things do get to me too. There are days where I just can't be bothered smiling at everything or agreeing with what everyone says I am allowed, to people have these sort of days don't they?.
I am a mother, who with this label I have to be onto it all the time know what's wrong with my children be a mind reader all the time be happy and affectionate enjoy being treated like a door mat, have tea organized on time all the time to make sure that they are always happy and have what they want when they want it well guess what I don't I just do my best and if my best isn't good enough then tough because there is only one of me and there are days I cant cope it doesn't make me a bad parent does it?. I think it just makes me human. I am not super women I can't always give 100 percent I don't have it to give some days but I always try.
I am a wife, who with this label I am the home maker I cook, I clean, I make sure that everything runs smoothly that my husband is always happy that no matter what has happen through the day or how ever stressed out I maybe with the days events that if he wants something then I do it. But there are sometimes I don't want to, I don't want to run around after you all night when you get home from work. Maybe I don't want to tell you what's wrong with me because may be I don't know there are sometimes that I have no idea why I am grumpy or stressed out, you may not have done anything to upset me, but it would be nice instead of jumping down my throat about it you could try doing something to ease my load that would be nice.
I am a friend, who with that label I am meant to drop what I am doing to help you out or lend you what ever it is you need, or to be there to listen to everything that is going wrong or right in your life. But not once do you say so how are you? or if I don't have what you need what right do you have to get angry with me?. I am not always able to drop what I am doing as I too get busy I have a family to look after. And I don't always have things to lend out I love to help out my friends but there are times when enough is enough and they need to except that.
I am a daughter, who with that label I am meant to get great grades at school, marry who my parents think is suitable, do what ever it is they want me to and to be the perfect model child so as not to embarrass the family name. But like the adults in my life I do make mistakes and get into trouble and I do except that some of what I do is stupid and senseless but that's what children do and you are there to guide us in the right direction not to judge that.What we need is unconditional love, knowing that you are there through good or bad, will guide me through the good times and bad times while knowing that my love for you is always there.
I am a sister, who with that label I am meant to stick up for you all the time and cover for you when you need it, to help you if you want it, be there when you are sad or laugh with you when you are happy. But there are times I can't do that, there are times I don't want to do that I will always love you, but I can't be happy all the time I can't bail you out every time you are in trouble. There are some times I disagree with what you are doing or what you say and it doesn't mean that you are wrong or that I am wrong it just means I don't agree. This means that some times we are not always going to have the same views on things it doesn't mean I don't care or can't be bothered it's just some times I have other things that I need to deal with by myself. But always no I will love you, and try my hardest to help when I can.
As I don't think the journey to find the answers will ever come to an end. But what I do know is that I have a great life and lots to look forward to.
Life itself is an experience to be lived to its fullest and enjoyed by me as an individual.
So will I as an individual ever understand?
Who am I?
Written by Lisa Wilson 2004