Quitting the Color Bottle

by Bonnie Jarvis-Lowe

Yes, I do go on rants, and darned good long rants sometimes! I don't know who listens or cares but I still rant. Let me tell you about my rant of last winter.

I don't care who likes it or doesn't but my hair is totally devoid of color, it is snow white. As a matter of fact my daughter, when she saw a photo taken recently, during the winter, made the crack that "You gotta hand it to ya Mom, it is a great camouflage in snow!" That did it!

I have listened to stories about hair, hair coloring, questions about why I do not color my hair anymore, why I let my hair go white after coloring it for twenty-five years and every other foolish question that a human can come up with. That does not bother me. I know there are all kinds of products out there and I can have any color hair I want, but I do not want it. Can't anybody understand that??

My mothers' family had a trait of the men going bald at an early age, my fathers' side has the trait of prematurely greying hair. At the age of 17 I was going grey. So, I took to coloring my fine long locks, and it was a procedure that took two bottles of hair color because my hair was long and thick. And of course I did not want to be grey as a teenager, or as a young mother, so the coloring continued for years. When I worked in an Operating Room and my head was covered all the time, I finally, about five or six years ago, quit the bottle. I wore shorter hair, more becoming, and more convenient for my lifestyle. I kept that shorter cut and I LIKE IT!

I was darn sick and tired of spending a fortune to have a someone color my hair, having to sit still for an hour or so, or doing it myself, getting it all over the bathroom and it would not come off the walls if the splatter hit them, and I was too busy fishin' and berry pickin' when I came back to Newfoundland to sit still for that long- so I quit.

I had suffered through every color hair in the book, including 'Accidental Green' or 'Streaky purple' and enough was enough. So that was that. My friends grew to like it, I became a grandmother and I write. So white hair and dark frame glasses gave me the tad of eccentricity I wanted. Good enough, if you're with me this far I will tell you the final straw regarding this mop of mine.

I was sitting at the picnic table on the wharf in Shoal Harbour, Newfoundland, (where I live) waiting to photograph the geese when they honked in, so I was basically just killing time. An elderly gentleman pulled in beside my car and got out to have a conversation. After a few minutes, he squinted at me through his cigarette smoke and said, "Fine head 'a hair ya got dere!" I said thank you, and tried to ignore him. I was not in the mood to discuss the pros and cons of Lady Hair Color with him or anyone else!!

There was a few minutes of silence, then the old gent walked around to the front of me, leaned over and stared at my mouth. Before I could ask what the heck he was doing he came out with the zinger, and this is the truth! He continued to look, squinting over the smoke of the second cigarette, leaned in closer and asked, "YA STILL GOT ALL YER OWN TEETH!!??"

That did it. I marched back to my car with all the self-control I could muster, jumped in and drove away! I could see him staring at me and had the crazy desire to go back and knock him off the wharf, but I managed to keep controlled. He must have been quite surprised to see my late model car rather than the 1924 Model T, a beautiful treasured vehicle about town.

Now, isn't that something? I was insulted, and really, really angry!! Just because I have white hair does not mean I am 90 years old, or that I have a full set of dentures, or wear a medic-alert bracelet. It is only hair for heavens' sake!!

"Got all yer own teeth?" Indeed I do Mister I thought to myself, and if I gave in to the way I feel right now I would bite your ankles! You are just lucky you caught me on a good day or you would be over the end of the wharf!!

Did you ever hear the like of it??

Oh, me Nerves!! And all over having white hair!!

Your own teeth-Indeed!!

That was my rant for last winter, I suspect this winter will bring forth a few more!

Bonnie Jarvis-Lowe (836 words)

Colour free in Shoal Harbour, Newfoundland.

Rate this submission


You must be logged in to rate submissions

Loading Comments