Zoe was the sweetest girl that I knew. I loved everything about her, and she loved me. Almost every day we would meet up at The Beanery for coffee and talk about all kinds of stuff, from movies to drama with friends to whatever. It honestly didn't matter. Seeing her face light up every time she saw me was all I needed. Things were great"for a while.
I shouldn't have been so stupid.
It was almost two A.M. The bass from the stereo blasting Cascada's "Evacuate the Dancefloor" was pounding, but not nearly as fast and as forcefully as my heart. A few beads of sweat dripped down from the edge of my pitch-black hair to my forehead, and my wide-open striped collared shirt kept getting caught between people bumping and grinding. The dancefloor was jam packed, and I would've been lost, except that there was a delicate hand tightly gripped around mine that was pulling me through the untamed sea of sweaty people rubbing up against each other"so sensually. The hand got me to the opposite side of the room, right next to the speaker exploding with sound. It was attached to a gorgeous girl, dark brown hair with blond highlights, smooth tan skin, and a body that belonged to a goddess, if one was in a low-cut shirt and denim hot pants. She was Jenna, someone I sort of knew from my Intro to Psych class, but had gotten to talk to tonight, at this party"just another party. We talked about everything from our mutual love of Sam Mendes' work to how some girls should just never wear skinny jeans. Her eyes were a fierce blue. Tonight she would become much more than some other girl at some party.
She would become my first.
Brains swimming in a sea of rum and coke
tequila shots and Natty, we never spoke
after we left that dance floor
Arms wrapped tight, two legs thrown up in ecstasy
"thrusting upward to her soul"
No..wait! Hold on, gimme a second
Fierce passion, fiery depths, yes yes fuck yes yes YES!!!
With that, she spoke. I broke.
Thinking back, of Zoe's face, and how it glowed, and how her eyes were the most powerful things in the world. "You could stop war with those eyes," I used to say. Now returning to that memory comes at a cost. I'm pretty sure a part of me shattered into a million pieces that night I had with Jenna. The idea that I was the "nice guy," the guy a girl could always count on to treat her right and never fail her.
I guess no one is free of faults, but"
Hold on a second, before you go
Something I must tell you, Zo
her face grew dark and so did mine
a couple thrusts and sips of wine
She flew over the edge and into the sky
Never looking back
"It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all."