Hated by Her

by angela urffer

"You ungrateful child! You mean nothing to me, NOTHING!"

My mom charges at me with a broom stick. I quickly dodge it and head for the door. BANG! Slamming the door behind me. I am not going back. Never again will I want to see her face anywhere else, but my nightmares.

She is such a monster most of the time. My mom, I mean, she really is not the greatest person to be around. Always yelling and screaming about one thing or another. Then blaming everything wrong on me even if it is not my fault, but I never understand why. I always think there is something wrong with me. Was I born to be naturally hated by her?

WHOOSH. It is cold out here. No matter what, I am just glad that I am far from her. Listening to the peaceful, soft, quiet sounds of the outdoors is nice. I am more relaxed now than I have been all day. I just hope that one day she realizes how much of a monster she really is. Then maybe I will have a chance to be happy for once in my small pathetic life.

"Annie! Annie where are you?!" cried my dad George.

I freeze. Why would my dad be looking for me? He never seemed to care about me before. Always neglecting my existence and now all of a sudden, he cares? Am I dreaming or something? This cannot be real, but what should I do? Do I go to him or do I run further; hiding myself from him like I always have.

"Annie! Annie! Please come out. Everything will be alright I promise."

Trembling I finally speak.

"Over here Dad."

My dad comes over tired and relieved.

"Are you ok?" he asks me slowly.

"Yes, Dad, I'm FINE. See, no cut marks this time alright." Giving a smirk I watch my dad put his hand on the side of a tree with his head looking down at the pile of stones beneath him.

"Listen, I don't know what you did to piss your mother off, but you can't keep fighting back the way you do." I watch his hand turn into a fierce fist as he pauses and begins to speak again. "I understand that it's a losing battle with her, but you need to listen to me and take my word on this. Stop fighting with your mother even if she starts it. I cannot even imagine the pain she put you through as a child, but I can see now how much of a monster she really is towards you. Believe me Annie things will get better soon. You and I will leave her here to suffer for everything she has done. Right now though, you have to be strong. Be strong for the both of us."

I try to hide my face; wanting to hold back the tears that are forcibly falling down my pale white cheeks. Glancing up for just a second I see George's face. His rough, wrinkly skin and his lightly reddened cheeks, coated over with a thick glaze. He is crying too. Taking all of this in at once is exhausting. Wiping my face dry, I stare at him.

"You really do care about me, don't you Dad." I quietly whisper to myself.

"I don't think you could ever really understand, Annie." He spoke as he sat as still as a tall oak tree in midsummer.

"Don't understand what Dad?"

"Understand how much easier it is for you to deal with her than I. For over eleven years, I have tried to feel love towards her, but look at me now. I have been married to her for over thirty-five years and I have gotten so fed up, fed up with your mother. She does not make me happy anymore Annie. You have to try to understand what I am going to tell you. Promise me that you will not tell your brothers and sisters. Most of all, do not tell your mother. Promise me you won't!"

I slowly stood up and leaned against the needle sharp bark on a near tree. At first, I was speechless. Trying to take in all of what my father had just said. What is he going to say next? I cannot keep him waiting; I cannot keep myself from finding out what he is going to say.

"Dad whatever ii may be, I promise to you, on my life itself if I must, that I will not tell anyone. You have my word on it." I spoke trying not to let the fact that I got butterflies in my stomach get to me.

"There is another woman," he said.

"What do you mean Dad, "Another woman'?"

"For about six months now I have been seeing my lady friend Taylor. She is the most stunning woman I have ever met in my life, and I love her."

"Are you leaving us for her or something? And like I knew things were BAD, but this just puts the icing on the cake Dad. Do not take me the wrong way, but if I did something wrong just tell me, really, I can handle it. See I'm a big girl."

"You did not do anything wrong. Why do you always think that everything bad that happens in this family is always your fault?

"Honestly, all through my childhood I have had the opinion that I never mattered to anyone. I feel neglected by everyone. Why do they pick on me? Am I really that much of a misfit? I've tried so hard to make mother happy, but in the end, she crumbles me like a piece of worthless paper."

"See, you kind of understand my reasoning for cheating on her. That woman has made me miserable. The way she treats you kids, especially you, pisses me off. Just like her own mother. She is blinded by the fact that the path she told herself as a child she would not take has been beneath her feet for many years. Besides that, I want you to meet her. I think you would like Taylor. One in the same is what I say."

"I'd like to meet her Dad. Sounds like it could be fun." I smile big at my dad while he waves his hand leading back to that scary place I just came from.

Going as fast as I can, I run into the house and lock myself in my room. That is enough for me today. There is so much drama controlling my life. Some days I wish it would just go away. Then all of a sudden, I feel weak. While smelling the cool, sweat scent of roses, my eyes get heavy, and I fall asleep on my bedroom floor.

BEEP! Ug, is it morning already? I am not in the mood to go to school today. Last night hit me hard. Eight hours away from that cold-hearted witch, Ha, sounds good to me.

Throwing on my favorite pair of man pants, the one with all the zippers and a white beater, I head for the door. Putting on my black sneakers and tossing my hair into a messy bun, I walk out the door. Seeing that I have time to kill, I pull out a cigarette and light it up as I am waiting at the end of my driveway. Hearing the sound of thunder and feeling that sharp, tense vibration under my feet, I look down the street. The bus was finally coming. Just a few more seconds until the bus takes me away from here. Dropping my cigarette, I walk onto the bus and wait to start the day.

"Annie! Hey Annie over here!" screeched Ricky.

Ricky is tall; about six feet tall and thin. He has short brown hair with the sweat aroma of tag body spray. His face is the most beautiful thing in the world. With his slightly tanned skin, perfectly plumped lips, eyes that look like the ocean on a cool fall morning, and his nose that is so slender, yet perfect all around, I would say I was in love.

"Ricky, hey!" I spoke while watching him look at me as I get off the bus.

Ricky charges at me. With quick swift moves, he grabs me in his arms and twirls me around. Putting me down, we look at each other and smile.

"I'm so glad to see you Ricky."

"Well I'm gladder to see you!" He said with a sharp smirk on his face. I slowly look away and then back at him. I then begin to picture last night and my face goes from a smile to a frown.

"What's with the sad face all of a sudden Annie?" He puts his hand on my shoulder.

"It's nothing"just thinking about last night."

"Do you want to talk about it? I mean, no one else had to hear about it. Don't worry I'll listen." Ricky leads me to a near bench. Putting his arm around me, I speak.

"I don't think I'm a bad kid. Why does she hate me so much as she does? Last night my mother went a bit crazy. She chased me out of the house with a broom because of some stupid argument. Having to see that fierce, nasty look in her eyes scares me. I HATE IT! I hate her! She does not want me there. She just does not care. Then my dad finds me and tells me he is leaving my mom for some lady named Taylor. I mean, what am I to do? Everything is a mess and I'm unable to handle it all."

I am being pulled closer to Ricky. He lifts his hand and puts it on the side of my face, leaning closer to me. Our eyes directly focused on each other. Closing his eyes, he plants his soft, warm, tender lips onto mine. My heart is beating faster than I have ever experienced before. Butterflies start rumbling around inside of me and I cannot stop them. Then slowly yet graciously, I rap my arms around his neck for a minute, trying to get as close to him as I can. Slowly we begin to lean away from each other. Opening my eyes, I look at him only to see him looking back at me blushing with a big smile on his face. For once, I feel loved.

Ding! Well this stinks. It is time to get going to my classes and begin the day. I lean up to Ricky, giving him a big, heart throbbing hug and wave goodbye. The day is going by so slow. Mr. Winchester is giving us a lecture on the atomic structure, while Mrs. Carlson is going to speak about the ideal life in a modern day home. All of this information is really giving me a headache. Right when I think I am about to die, the bell rings for lunch.

Walking down these pale, green hallways, filled with annoying freshmen and extremely preppy girls is totally bugging me out. I need to make it to lunch before the rush, but I cannot because I am stuck behind a slug and a tortoise. Why can't they go any faster? Getting irritated I push them out of my way, ignoring the dirty looks and snotty comments they are making about me. Finally, I make it to the cafeteria where I make my way to the lunch line.

As I walk to my table, I see my brother sitting at his table with all his "popular" friends. He looks sad, but I turn away, head to my table, and sit down. I slowly begin to eat this rubbery pizza. They need to get some new edible food in this prison. The taste of tart sauce, and melted tar enflames my mouth. This is so disgusting. Refusing to eat any more of it, I walk it up to the conveyer belt, drop off my tray, and continue to my classes.

Finally its tenth period, although I am stuck in a woodshop filled with complete morons. Mr. Junket only talks about how great country music is, while the kids like to make fun of gay people. They are so immature. Why can't they just grow up and get the big picture? Trying to work on my project, in which I am completely behind on, I get distracted by my teacher staring at me with a straight face for over five minutes. WHY CAN'T HE JUST GROW UP?! Right as I am about to flip out, the last bell of the day rings and I rush to get out.

The day keeps getting faster. Getting on my bus, I zone out just to realize that we were at my house already. I get off the bus and grab my cigarettes that I hid before leaving in the morning. I inhale and then exhale. I Love the taste and smell of the smoke and tobacco entering my body. Smoking does wonders for me after a rough day. I just hope this day will not get any worse"but knowing me, it will.

I slowly stand up off the ground after I finish my smoke. Shaking, yet relaxed, I open the door on the side of the house. One foot in front of the other, I walk towards the living room where I see my mom. Her thin, bleach blonde hair that slightly covers her fatted face. That picnic table cloth outfit she wears all the time is disturbing to even look at. I mean I guess it goes nicely with that pumpkin shaped body of hers.

My mom shoots me the nastiest look. It was the one that said I hate you, you worthless piece of existence, why did you even bother coming home look. Well right back at her I shot one. It was the one that said: I do not care if you hate me for some odd unknown reason, but I am still a person and your pathetic opinions mean nothing to me at all.

With that, I headed up stairs to my room. Before sitting on my bed in my ice-cold room, I turn the radio on to a song I heard in the 90's. It went like this, I'm holding on today, nothing's going to stop me anyways, I'm holding on, I'm strong, I'm the only one who can make a change"..and then I changed the song. Out of nowhere then I hear my mom, with her gigantic feet pound up the stairs towards my room.

"What do you think you're doing?" she said looking all pissed off.

"It's called listening to music, in my room, away from everyone, and especially you because I really don't want to hear your crap." I spoke acting all snotty and sarcastic.

"Who do you think you are talking to?! I'm your mother and you better not be giving me any of your bull shit." I laughed at her.

"You really want me to believe that you, you of all people are my mother? Nice joke. In all my life I could never call you my MOTHER. You never act like one. You beat me to the point in which I cannot move. You give me no explanation for anything and now you want me to call you my mother. No way in all of hell would I call you that!"

Furious, she screams and spits in my face.

"You worthless piece of shit; I wish I have never given birth to you. I'm disgusted just by looking at you. Maybe you should look up to your sister Vesta more. Unlike you, she has the guts to stand up for herself and make herself look decent."

"Excuse me? You honestly want me to believe that nasty thing you call Vesta is decent? I mean honestly, I did not think you were that blind, but we all cannot face looking into the mirror now can we? Yeah, I can see Vesta, an old, fat, disgusting old woman who lives off her life as a whore. Like honestly, with all those piercing all over her face and that rude, snotty attitude of hers, I am surprised she has not been arrested yet. Now as I think about it, neither have you."

She slaps me in the face. It feels like someone has just taken hot coals to my soft, pale complexion. The burning sensation not going away is making me begin to cry and yet, I'm holding it all back in. Then when I thought things could not get any worse she grabs my arms with her crab like claws and throws me onto the floor. I cannot move. Every bone in my body aches with pain. I am being trampled like a poor defensive ant on the ground, begging her to stop, but she will not. All my bones in my body feel like they are breaking. Breaking into a million pieces, but then it stops.

For about a minute, I get to breathe. Thinking it is over; I slowly tilt my head to the right until I see that she has only just begun.

"Have you had enough yet? HAVE YOU!" she yells.

Go away. Go away. Stop. Please. My voice is broken and so I do not respond. She is angry. Extremely angry and so she begins again. She grabs my hair; ripping it out of my skull while my head slowly bleeds. Laughing unstoppably because she knows I will not fight back. I will not be her. I will not turn into her. With giant thrusting movements, she takes my head and slams it into my dresser.

Throbbing pains shoot up and down my body. I feel weak and motionless, as my head is jammed into the dresser. Slamming, twisting, and pulling. Is there no way out for me? My face turns pale as I feel my icy cool blood drip down my nose, over my lips, and onto my chest. And through all of this right now, I feel like this might be the end to my small life. Never again will I be able to see my Dad and meet his lady friend Taylor. Most of all I will not be able to see Ricky with his eyes looking at me. I am not going to survive am I? I have to hold myself together. I must be strong, be strong for me and dad.

I focus back in to what is happening right now. She is looking down at me. My face planted right into the carpet with my hands in tight fists. For some strange reason I can tell that she is freaked out. Extremely freaked out to the point where all I see is her running out of my room. Her car engine starts up and she drives away.

There I was, hurt, scared, and alone. I am afraid to move, but slowly I begin to. Crawling to my bed, I grab for my cell phone and dial my dad's cell number. All I could think about was him answering the phone, and then he answered.

"Hello." he said.

Stuttering I shout out the words.

"Daddy". please help me." Tears begin to fall down my face.

"Annie are you alright? What happened?"

"Mom got me." That was all I could spill out of my mouth. There was dead silence on the phone for a minute or so and then he spoke again.

"I'm on my way. Just stay where you are." I smile because my dad was actually coming to help me. I quickly put pressure on my cuts after noticing the blood dripping down my neck. Taking an old shirt, I wrap it around my head tight to stop the bleeding. It hurts so bad and I could really go for a cigarette right about now.

Five or ten minutes pass until I hear my Dads car pull up into the driveway. He rushed out of his truck and into the house. Swinging my door open, he looks at me.

"Annie get up, we have to get you to the hospital right away."

I get up slowly and walk to my dads blue van. He looks at me worried and drives me to the hospital where I begin to get my stitches. Forty stitches in my arm, ten on my right cheek, and twenty-five on my head. The nurse then sends me to a room where I will speak to a police officer.

"Annie, please take a seat." said officer Goldilocks.

I looked at him and listened while giggling at his name.

"I need you to tell me what happened and who did this to you." he said while leaning forward in his chair.

"I got into a fight with my mom. I really do not fully understand how it started. I mean she just got all crazy and just starting hitting me."

"Do you have any idea of where she is right now?"

"No I don't, she ran out of my room and got in her car and drove away after she got done what she wanted to do." My head is looking down looking at my arms and the table. I am still scared and upset, but everything will be all right, I just know it. The officer begins to speak to me again as he sees the expression on my face, pure pain.

"Ok, thank you. Now I need you to write me a statement and then go back to your dad, ok, Annie. And Annie, one more thing, don't be scared, everything will be fine, I promise nothing bad will happen to you again. " I looked at him, nodded, and then looked away. A smile of hopefulness begins to appear on my face.

I begin to write the statement. Trying to get each and every detail about what she did and how she did it. Even my emotions I tried to portray in it. About thirty minutes later, I finish my statement and my father and officer Goldilocks walk into the room.

"Thank you Annie." officer Goldilocks said after I handed him the statement.

"Are you ok now Annie?" asked my dad while staring at my stitches.

"I'm alright Dad, thanks for asking." Officer Goldilocks looks at me and my fuather, and then begins to speak.

"We have found your mother Annie. She will not be hurting you anymore. Actually she won't be hurting anyone anymore." I look at him with my big green eyes focused widely on him.

"What do you mean...anymore?"

"Annie, I'm sorry to tell you that your mother has just been found dead. Some little boy saw her stabbing herself in her car while driving it into a nearby lake."

I begin to picture the little boy, having to see my mom kill herself. Scared and unable to understand what was just going on.

"I am so sorry for your loss"." I zone out. She is finally gone. Gone forever and I will never deal with her ever again. I am free. Good did come out of pain. I am shocked and somewhat upset that it ended like this, but it was for the best...I think.

My dad and I drive home slowly in pitch darkness. We did not speak to each other. I go up to my room and lay in my bed. My eyes get heavy and I fall asleep for the last time"."

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