There! That's it, that's the perfect scene!, I thought to myself, looking out over the vast stretches before myself and him. It's not like the other scenes, here it stands as a monument of all. I've seen it, hundreds, millions, billions of times, yet the feeling never changes. It's the same no matter how many tears I shed for it's beauty.
The first time I met him, he didn't stand out as a particularly powerful presence. His figure and stature underwrote his voices tone. Slightly taller than average, perhaps a few inches taller than the others. Lean and muscled he strode with confidence that comes with patience. Even now his face seems hazy. It makes me sad to think I never got a good look at his face, especially since we were to work together.
"Good to see you could make it in today," greeted Doctor Roblisk, "you're the last and not a moment too late." It's strange to think that a handshake could convey friendliness like that, neither man particularly knew each other. Yet the both smiled like old friends. "Today you'll be receiving the new A-N-G-L Four implant." explained Roblisk. "This new model no longer uses the external carrier jack, so we'll finally get to unplug you for good. For this new one you'll be retrained two days after the operation to get used to the new telemetry and communications interface." He continued.
This is it! I get to hear his voice! ".................."
"I appreciate the chance I have been given Dr. Roblisk." He said. His voice wasn't soft, or harsh deep or low. It rang through with a plainness that couldn't be forgotten by anyone, much less me. Strangely the sound brushed past my mind and my heart and I knew this man could make anything possible. The confidence and strength conveyed in those 10 words let me know why he was the leader of his group. There was a nagging question on my mind, what was his name? "No, it's me who is thankful to you for giving me this chance to help our people, Sgt. Bolyne." insisted the Doctor. It wasn't until later that I learned his first name, Daniel. It seemed so plain, too plain for him. I was hoping for something more exotic, Oleander or perhaps Fearghal.
As they left the room, to start the procedure I would imagine, I found my mind wandering. "What kind of leader is he? Do his men feel empowered and emboldened when listening to his commands?" I'm not quite sure how much time passed when they left, it's odd. You would think that recalling such details would be easy, yet I find the older memories more hazy and less definite. Much like pouring sand on a photograph until the original image is replaced by the new sand.
"How are you feeling Sgt? Alright?" a strange voice asked.
"Fine, I think." Replied Daniel.
"What happened? My eyes, they're kind of blurry." He concluded groggily rubbing his face. "I feel like I got hit by a train." "You were hit by a concussive mortar, well, nearly." The strange voice continued, "It appears to have hit Corporal Staaves, killing him as well as Private Joski." "You were hit by the shock and thrown approximately eight meters back, into a building, luckily it wasn't too sturdy, else you wouldn't be here." A momentary bead of sweat frantically raced to find the ground below Daniels' head. His eyes focused as he sat up. He became momentarily disoriented as he did so and began to look around.
He didn't recognize the room he was in. As he stared around the room he realized he was in a private room. "Where am I!? My men!?" He asked frantically. "I'm sorry Sgt. Bolyne, I forget myself at times like these. I'm Dr. Owens," He reassured Daniel, "and this is your attending nurse, Micky." Dr. Owens made a waving motion, looking back at the door. "Hello Sargent, I'm Micky, been taking care of you for the past few days, I have." His accent was strange, sort of like a Georgian-Cockney. Dr Owens raised his hand as if to block all the sounds of the world. "We're in the forward Medford UH-1, Luckily for you, the rest of your men were unhurt and can resume duties as soon as we get you discharged."
"I am quite relieved to hear that." Daniel said it with a sullen tone. The doctor and nurse looked at each other and shook heads. It was a quiet agreement that happens all too often during wars. Wars? Really? They happen all too often, in peace and small battles. They happen when families are sundered and homes destroyed. I suppose you could say that they happen too often to be noticed. Quietly they left the room. Dr. Owens stopping for a moment before the door slid shut, "Don't rest anymore, too much and the thoughts will get to you. Once they do they will weaken your resolve." The doctor left the room. It seems he has had similar experiences. It's strange how they happen like that. My goal is to one day rid the universe of such uncomfortable ease.
Some time later Daniel had gotten up and gotten dressed. He decided to find some food since he hadn't eaten in a few days. I can't seem to recall everything. Details, parts and pieces of the times I know were clear are moving away like dunes blown by wind. THINK! THINK! What did he do after he left for food!? *Sigh* No matter how hard I try, details about rooms and scenes with him are fading. It's not fair, right? Imagine seeing your parents in your mind. Have the image? Shake the image around, as though it was many in a box of pictures. Try to recall that image without the distortion of the others. That's how it is for me.
Come to think of it, I can't really remember myself, me. I know I work with Daniel, I just know we've been together for years. THINK! THINK! THINK! THINK! THINK! THINK! THINK!.
It's no use. I can't do it. This is a maddening development, surely I should know who I am. My name! What's my name? Why can't I remember it!? I mean..ah..... I...I'm crying. This sensation, there's no other way to describe it. I feel sick, My sides hurt and my face wants to melt, doesn't it? I can't feel it but I know the feeling is there.
I'm starting to get frustrated now, I feel like I want to Exp..........
"Sarg! We need to evac! Those PDA fucks are killing us!" Exasperated a young man screams. "SARG WE HAVE TO LEAVE NOW!" The young man waving his index finger around as if directing the heavens above him. His face covered in dirt, oil and blood, the whites of his eyes glaring through like sunlight. Daniel looks towards the craft the young man is pointing to. A small but well armored vehicle, much like the ancient Humvee. Daniel looks around him. To his right the vehicle, in front of him the young man kneeling behind a piece of a wall. To his left, a sheet of glass, littered with rough, jagged extrusions. Bodies litter the spaces in between. The scene earlier in the night had been a tranquil semi-desert. Now as the daytime light shines, it's tentacles caressing the sands and buildings, as they glow they meld into one.
I've seen this before! I remember, this is the A9 Nova, an air burst ordinance. It's similar to the ancient nuclear weapons in appearance. Unlike those primitive weapons there isn't a blast or shock wave. Only an all encompassing ball of light, "More intense than the fires of hell, brighter than the light of god and more sinister and black than a black hole", as quoted from its late creators wife. Apparently, the man who designed and made it, died during one of it's tests. His co-engineers felt it a bad omen, but pressed on to see his life's work complete.
Sorry, I didn't mean to go off on a tangent like that. Wait, I just felt something.
"Get on board! I need to go get Nicholz!, tell them to wait for thirty seconds!" Daniel shouted at the young man. Hearing this he stood and wiped the blood from his face and dashed for the vehicle. He looked back, his expression was a sad one. Like saying goodbye to your dying father. Daniel turned to his left and sprinted, but something was slowing him. I'm not sure what it was or why. My view was obscured. As he approached a small black figure I saw a man lying on his back shielding his face. It was obvious what he was hiding his eyes and mind from.
He's wounded, one of his legs nearly severed and his left arm missing. Daniels' eyes shook and a tear ran from his face as he looked down upon the shamed body. "Si....Si.....r" a small choked voice let out. "Ah.....I....I....I can't see it.....I CAN'T SEE IT!" Tears flooding his eyes. "Can't see what Nicholz? What is it you can't see? Asked Daniel feverishly. "My families faces, not my mothers or fathers! My.." he chokes, a small red geyser erupts from his mouth,"..Kids or wife. Why can't I see them?! WHY!?!?" He shouts only making his situation more apparent.
My heart erupts with pain, I'm crying, but I don't know why. I know this feeling, it's familiar, like visiting an old home, bed. Daniel looks back from the direction he raced. They're leaving, he must have taken too long. His radio, there's something wrong but I can't figure it out. He probably didn't hear them. He turns his head back towards the ever growing sun. As he faces it he looks down towards Nicholz and reassures him. "Don't worry son, we'll get to see them all soon." Daniel smiled ever so slightly. "Just remember I had the honor to fight and live with you."
There! That's it, that's the perfect scene!, I thought to myself, looking out over the vast stretches before myself and him. It's not like the other scenes, here it stands as a monument of all. I've seen it, hundreds, millions, billions of times, yet the feeling never changes. It's the same no matter how many tears I shed for it's beauty. His calm and commanding presence calmed the heart of Nicholz and fastened the steely resolve of his men.
I love him, with my mind and my soul. I remember now, I hate to remember. I am his Guardian. I am the illuminated path to his victories. We've been together for so many years and yet he still doesn't know of my existence.
the span of my lifetime of love,
He doesn't know of it.
I never asked to be an Angel.