To Live Within My Dreams

by Adam Clarke Roberts

She comes to me in my dreams and even in my sleep I can feel her presence envelope me. She invites me to join her in a strange new world. The footprints of the past are sunk deep within my mind. I trace them back time and again hoping they will lead down a different path to a peaceful ending, but it is always the same hapless path to despair. How often I now sleep just for the chance to see her face. She sometimes hides from me playing her little tricks as always. I long to hear her soothing voice that can be more hypnotic than the sound of rain softly singing me to sleep. But when she visits me she seldom if ever speaks. She must long to see the pain in my eyes and hear the tremble in my voice much like the day I found her naked body laying in the bedroom floor with wrists flowing crimson red.

As always she is undressed and she now begins to undress me. There are candles lit around us. She always loved the way our bodies would glow in the light of a candles. She gently pushes against my chest. Pushing me back until I am laying naked in front of her. She slowly reaches over me to retrieve a lit candle and when her arm is near my face I am able to smell the fragrance of her sweet skin. It is her natural smell and the scent of her kind soul permeating through her skin. She holds the candle over me and playfully tilts it to let the hot wax drip onto my stomach. She hopes the pain will convince my that I am not dreaming and all of this is real. Lying down beside me she pulls me over her naked body and gives me the taste of her sweet kiss. It is a taste long forbidden in my mouth. She opens her legs to me and I rise up so that I'm kneeling between them. She strokes my hardness with one hand while the other hand starts to glide up my stomach, pausing to rub my chest until it comes to rest around my neck. As I penetrate her taut wetness she tightens her grasp until it is hard for me to breath. She is playing with me like a child will play with an old toy it has long since out grown and with fondness in her heart she wishes only to destroy me, as if to signify that she has grown beyond our innocence, the innocence of our love. I am the ritual of her magic and the completion of her spell.

I thrust inside of her long and slow to savor her warm grasp. The faint smile upon her face makes me burn with desire for her. I feel the wetness from between her supple legs starting to spread. Instinctively I start to thrust harder and faster. I place my mouth on her breasts and devour them one at a time gently pulling at her nipples with my teeth when I release them. Eagerly she drinks my sweat as it drips onto her body and into her mouth. She clinches the sheets and is pretending to hold back. She struggles with the pleasure of having me inside of her and as my rhythm bends her self control she lashes out with her hand striking my face in a final attempt to resist passion.

She starts to touch herself and I rise up to watch her perform. I grasp her ankles in my hands to hold her wide to receive me. My body violently slams against her body, again and again. It appears so brutal that it becomes unclear if this is an act of love or violence. Yet, what is often considered love can be violent and unbecoming. Her throbbing drives me to thrust harder and the faintest hint of my climax starts to build. I lay close to her again and hold her with my hands underneath her back sternly gripping her shoulders. My body is getting so tense that I realize I am almost squeezing her breath out completely. I start to explode inside of her releasing all that I have been holding back and my grasp starts to weaken until all I can do is lay against her and breathe.

For that single moment my soul is vanquished from my body and when I return I try in vain to understand the intertwining of our souls. Silent and still we lay with our chests pressed together. I can feel her heart pound against me and I hope she can feel my heart beating for her. Our hearts pound so fast and forceful it would seem that they are trying to escape our bodies and consume one another. She pulls my face close to hers so our mouths can interlock while our tongues seek one antoher. The pain in her eyes makes me burn with desire once more and I begin to pray that I will never awake again now that she has returned to live within my dreams.

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