When I woke up, I was dead. Is it possible to wake up when you are dead? Do you sleep when you are dead? I didn't know. The only thing I knew was that I had died. At least that is what the strange girl next to me said when I had become conscious.
I asked her quite confused "What do you mean I'm dead?!"
The girl rolled her eyes and dryly replied "You kicked the bucket. You went to a better place. You know, you died."
I stared at this girl who seemed to take my end to existence so easily. She was wispy and pale. Her hair was dark as coal and reached down to her waist. Then I saw her eyes and realized she was not a normal girl. Her eyes shocked me, because they had no color. There was the outline of the cornea and the pupil, but no pigment at all.
"Who or what are you?" I questioned quietly.
The girl tilted her head like she didn't quite hear me correctly.
"What do you mean who or what?" She seemed curious.
"Well, if I am dead like you say I am, then you are probably the grim reaper." I stated with distaste.
The girl laughed and replied "No, I am not the grim reaper. I am simply me."
"Then who are you then?" I asked getting annoyed.
The girl smiled "Who are you?"
I thought and realized that I didn't know who I was. If the dead have blood, mine had just run cold at that moment.
I stammered "I...I...I don't know."
The girl nodded and said" That's pretty common. "
I looked at her startled" What do you mean? Do you see dead people a lot here?"
She replied secretly "It really depends on where here is. What do you see?"
I looked around and saw it was a hallway of doors. It was massive and it seemed to go on forever. There were many doors made of wood, stone, plastic, metal, and other materials. Some were red, yellow, green, and lots of other colors. Where was I?
I told the girl "I see a hallway full of doors. They are all different colors."
The girl thought and then suggested "Why don't you try opening one?"
I hesitated "What will happen?"
The girl shrugged "I'm not sure. But, you are already dead, so you won't die."
I groaned "Great, thanks for reminding me about that."
I tried opening a huge black door in front of me. It was locked. I turned to the girl "It's locked."
Her wispy figure came over and she examined the door. Then she turned to me and said "Apparently this isn't your door."
"What do you mean?" I asked getting annoyed.
She pointed to an inscription on the door. The words were carved into the wood which made it very hard to read.
I squinted "It says "These are doors of fate. You have a key that will open three. Find the doors that match your color. These doors will lead you to your next journey. Choose only one door. Which door will you choose? ".
The black and white girl leaned down and found something on the ground. It was a ring of keys with the color of blue. She handed them to me and said" I guess you better go find your blue doors."
We searched the endless hallway which actually did have an end. My doors were the last doors; the last blue doors to be exact. I took one of the keys on the ring and put it into the lock of the last blue door. The key was an exact fit.
The girl seemed to be waiting "So are you going to turn it?"
I stopped" What will happen if I turn it?"
The girl shrugged "I don't know. That inscription said you would go on your next journey."
"But, what is my next journey?" I stared these doors of an unknown destination.
"I really don't know. This is your death after all." She said simply.
I don't get it. How could I be dead? I was here talking to this girl wasn't I? She didn't look normal and she said she wasn't the grim reaper. But, why else was this girl here? And why is my fate determined by what is on the other side of these doors?
The girl waved a hand in front of my face "Hey, you got to make a choice. Which door will you choose?"
"Why do I have to make a choice? Is there a time limit?" I responded annoyed.
The girl nodded "This state you are in is only temporary. Eventually everything here will fade away."
I couldn't believe it. "Are you telling me I have to make a choice to pick one of three of these doors or I will fade away?"
The girl nodded again. "I am merely here to be a guide, but I cannot make this choice for you. "
I was getting apprehensive" Do you know where any of these doors go?'
The girl shook her head "I do not know. These doors are three possible fates that you can choose to have."
I looked at the last blue door. All of the doors were blue, but they did not look the same. The first door was wooden and about six feet tall. The second door was metal and cold looking. Then the last blue door was different. It was a glass door that I could not see out of. If there was no paint on this door, I just might have a window into what this next journey would lead to.
I threw up my hands in exasperation and cried "I can't make a choice like this."
The girl looked at me with her colorless eyes "But, don't people make choices like this every day?"
I argued "No, because normally people do not make choices that will affect the entirety of their life."
"Are you sure about this? Every time that a person wakes up, there are always choices to make. Good and bad choices. These choices can either make them sad or happy. Your life is always being affected by a choice that you make." the girl reasoned.
"But, didn't you say that these are doors of fate. I thought fate was something you couldn't choose. That it was something already planned out that you had no say in." I asked crossly.
"What if you made the choice to put your finger into the fire? Wouldn't it be your fate that you would get burned by the fire? Fate and choice are one in the same. Fate brings you choices that bring you different fates." The girl lectured.
"I'm starting to feel like you are God." I said.
The girl giggled and replied "No, I am not God. Do you believe in God?"
I looked down "I don't know. I don't even know who I am."
The girl sighed "Does who you are matter?"
I was stupefied. I replied loudly "Of, course it matters. My identity is who I am. My being is who I am. The things I know, the things I like, and the things I love. My memories make me who I am. I cannot be me if I don't know who I am."
The girl asked "What would you do if you knew who were?"
I stared at the last blue door and said" I think it would be easier to make this choice. I might have an idea of what type of choice I would have made."
The girl nodded and countered "But, it could also make your choice harder. You might not like who were or the choices you made."
I clenched my fists "But, at least it was proof of the person I was before. That I had lived my life."
The wispy figure traced her finger on the wooden blue door and asked "What if you had your memories, you knew who were, and then you choose a door into a life that wasn't who were before? Will the memories and experiences from that life not be proof of the person you will become?"
I put my hands on my face and l responded "This is really confusing."
The girl smiled and agreed "That is why it is better to make it simple. You did live before or you wouldn't be here. "
"But aren't you saying that if I choose this last blue door, that I might not be who I am anymore?" I asked.
"These doors are merely physical representations of the choices that you could make. You might become a different person. You might become the same person again. Maybe nothing will happen at all. No one knows what happens to someone when they leave this world." The girl said with a matter of fact tone.
"Then tell me, what is this world?" I implored.
She sighed "It is really hard to understand. It is a world, but it isn't a world. If I said the world was you, would that make sense?"
I shook my head.
"This is a world created by you. When a person dies, a world is born to present you with the choices of where you will go from here. But, this world has limited time. If you do not make the choice, by the time this world ends, then you and your choices will fade. Your choices will become someone else's."
The girl seemed to be checking the nonexistent watch on her wrist. She stated "You must hurry, because your time is running out. Which door will you choose?"
I knew I would choose the last blue door. I do not know why, but I felt like it was the right choice. But, I still had more questions for the girl who claimed to not be God.
"Ok, if you aren't God or the grim reaper, then how come you know so much about this world and the doors?" I asked her loudly.
"That is because I am also you." She stated.
I think if I have had a brain at that time, it just had broken from thinking about her statement. I scratched my head and said slowly "So you are me and I am you and this world is created by me. Is that right?"
She nodded vigorously "I think you are starting to get it."
I groaned and deflated like a balloon "Actually, I don't get it all. How can you be me and I be me and this all be me? It doesn't make sense."
The girl replied "That's because this isn't reality. Nothing will make sense here. Haven't you heard the saying "the world is only what you make it to be"?
"So, if this isn't reality and I am dead, I don't get how I can be here". I ran my hand through my hair.
"I mean doesn't that mean I might not even be here at all? I hypothesized.
"You are so close. Keep going." She cheered.
"What am I close to? This doesn't make sense at all. Am I supposed to accept that I might not be here? That I should accept everything that you told me and then make a choice to go somewhere where I may or may not exist? "I rambled angrily.
"Bingo. You hit it right on the nose. "The girl commented.
I sat down on the floor. This was crazy. I have to accept this crazy girl, the doors of fate, and the fact I don't who I am or if I am either here. I think my head was going to explode.
Suddenly the doors started to shake and disappear. The girl was alarmed and then cried "Your time is up. You must accept everything and then make a choice. Which door will you choose!?"
"But, I can't accept this! I might not be me! I might not even be here! "I shouted again.
"You got to think about this a different way. Are you not here right now, whether you exist or not?!" She called out amidst the roar of the disappearing doors.
I thought about it. I am here. This me that is here and this is me that is this girl and this is me that will make this choice. I grabbed this girl and then screamed "I accept everything!"
Just as the door to next to the last blue door faded away, I turned the key. Then I rushed through the last blue door and accepted the fate that my choice may bring me.