Eating Habits (Comedy Skit)

by mr. anonymous

Everybody I have ever gone out eating with always ask me why I'm so fat if I don't eat that much, which is a very accurate question, I don't really know. What I do know is that I don't need to eat to be honest, there have been days where I actually woke up early morning and did not eat anything till about 4:00pm, just make sure you don't cross paths with me. My cousin is one skinny man right, but dude can eat like 3 double double burgers with large animal style fries and a large coke which he refills twice mind you. I asked him how he is able to eat so much and still retain his anorexic weight, he told me that he takes multiple craps in a day, and also that he doesn't chew his food a lot, bro what the hell? He says if you chew your food a lot your mind tells your body that you are eating so you get full faster, but if you take fewer bites, by the time your brain realizes that you are eating, the food is in your stomach already so it feels like you didn't eat anything till you are about to explode. That explains everything I guess, because I don't count my bites I just try to enjoy the damn food for god sakes eating isn't math man come on. You just open, fill your mouth with food, chew and swallow that's it, just like other things that you don't need to count like making love, you don't count the number of thrusts now do you, you just open, and then they swallow that's it. Seriously though that's some crazy stuff right there, I didn't know that till I tried it as well, and now I am a lipozene addict.

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