Gary Chocolate-bear and the Great Dog Caper

by Lewis Charles

Gary Chocolate-bear was driving when he saw a sign outside a veterinarian's office that said "dogs can hear four times better than humans". He laughed, in the way one does when one reads a sign that says "dogs can hear four times better than humans", and picked up his phone.

"Mr. Mayor," said Gary. "I'd like to call in that favor."

Two hours later, Gary and seventy-four Brussels Griffon Terriers were standing on a platform in front of city hall, with the population of the entire town before them. The mayor, situated behind a podium to the right of the platform, fired his pistol in the air, and thus did the thirty-first annual "hear-off" begin.

Now, if you've never been to a hear-off, you may be wondering what kind of food they serve during one of these things. There's the traditional stuff, of course. But then there's the non-traditional food. And there are also desserts.

In the end, Gary did not win.

"I guess dogs can hear four times better than humans," said Gary.

But of course dogs can hear only three times better than humans. Someone had fucked up the sign.

The End.

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