Date Night

by Mike Stevens

"My darling, you look so beautiful in the candlelight,

it takes my breath away, you're such a beautiful sight!

I'm so glad you agreed to go out with me on a date.

Just you and me, babe, this is so great!

Don't look now, but that guy over there is checking you out.

I said 'don't look!' but you have to know you look hot, no doubt!

I'm so glad I have you all to myself, that I finally have you alone,

you look like a queen, sitting upon her throne,

and in a way, you are, strangers look at you with reverence,

they worship your inherent power --the way you rule a circumstance,

I know I sure do--look at you, you're absolute perfection

babe, with your graceful lines, you're second to none.

We're getting some strange looks--"Hey, why don't you just eat your clams,

put your eyes away, and stop staring at my gal's gams?"

"Sir, is everything all right here? Can I bring you anything more?"

"Maybe another drink? How about you, honey? No? Nothing for

you, thanks? Nothing for the lady, and I'll have another beer."

"Sir, don't you think you've had enough? And there's no lady here."

"What, are you blind? LOOK at her, what would you call her?"

"Sir, please keep your voice down, here's no call for anger.

I simply meant there's nobody here, just your gun."

"Oh no, NOW you've done it, made her mad--you'd better run,

believe me, you don't want that. EVERYONE, I'd get out

while you can, cause you don't want to see her mad, without a doubt!

See, she's a might touchy when put down, and she's liable to go off half-cocked,

especially when like she is now, full-on crocked--

you know what, screw this place, and screw you!

Our time of putting up with this shit is through!

Look, babe, let's get out of here and go someplace

that they're no so uptight, with the look on their face

like we're killers or something, come on, let's go,

here, let me help you up--calm down, people, no

reason to panic, and start a damn stampede!

Get up off the floor, I'm just putting her in my holster, not taking a bead!"

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