"Save the Neck for Me!"

by Mike Stevens

'Christmas Vacation's' Randy Quad's said it best,

when he said 'save the neck for me!" The quest

to overfill your belly is almost at hand.

Turkey, freshly done in, mashed potatoes and yam,

although that last will almost certainly be ignored,

especially by most kiddies, who'll probably be bored,

and will wolf down the chow so soon they'll go.

It's not like Christmas, where they'll get some cool stuff. No,

this one they know has something to do with pilgrims, and they could give a shit.

Uncle Wally will be blotto, and Aunt Clara will beg, 'slow down a bit!"

Uncle Geno will remark on how much the kids have grown,

and Rufus the Dog will once again have his head adorned by a cone.

Well, if he wears a cone to keep him from touching certain places,

shouldn't Uncle Sven have one permanently in place, it's off to the races

for his hand, much to Aunt Sally's chagrin and embarrassment.

And Cousin Harry's totally overbearing, and way too arrogant.

He'll sit down and vocal-spew until your ear falls off your head,

telling you how rich he is, maybe he should run for president, instead

of old dead ferret head. That's what he does, but Backwoods Bob

seems the eat it up, speaking of which, there's pie, 72 kinds, so a blob

is what you'll feel like, as you undo the top two buttons

on your pants that have already been let out--you'll be done

in by when it's finally time to make your excuses and depart,

and Uncle Geno's had so much, he'll wheel his gut home in a cart!

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