'The Massive-ego Bobblehead'

by Mike Stevens

"Are you fed up with 'intellectuals' running 'your' country? Think it's high time to put the 'collar' after 'blue' once more? Now, 'The Hair Kite Corporation' is proud to announce 'The Massive-Ego Bobblehead'! Comes with a life-like voice that reassures you that every one of your problems is someone else's fault. Simply bobble the head, touch the button to hear the voice, sit back, open that malt liquor, and let your festering anger have a voice. True, the opinions it spews are a simplistic, cynical view of the big bad world out there, but hey, you're all about simple! Many of the country's problems are very complex, but 'The Massive-Ego Bobblehead' reduces everything to child-level, so that they're easily understood. And, you'll never get tired of hearing how much this guy's made over the years--isn't that what being American's all about? Compassion, com-stashen, it's all about getting all you can, and piss on the little guy! In fact, it also comes with a life-like trouser hose so you can do exactly that. 'The Hair Kite Corporation' will also donate $5 of the $472 purchase price to "The Scrooge Trust", a trust benefiting rich people who lost everything in the bank collapse of 2007. So, not only do you get 'The Massive-Ego Bobblehead', but you can feel good about helping the less fortunate!"

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