The Miscarriage

by Margaret Ann Heflin

The Miscarriage"

At sixteen I had my first miscarriage.

Don't get it twisted now. I did not get pregnant out of wedlock.

I had a husband.

He wasn't anything special to write home about but he was mine.

I met Harold when I was thirteen years of age. He asked my parents for me when I turned fifteen and my father gladly sold me to him.

See back in Carolina, girls were grown at 14 and if they could not find a job it was okay to sell them.

At least that's what my parents made us believe.

Harold was 34, and full of money.

The girls could only be sold to men that had a lot of money and if they were established in the neighborhood.

I was worth more money than the house my parents lived in.

Harold worked very hard for his money to keep "him happy".

I spent my days learning to cook and clean while he was working, because I always had to have his house sparkling clean.

I spent more time in bed than I did on my feet.

I had to pleasure my husband morning, noon, and night.

It wore my body down very early in my life.

At sixteen I got pregnant from my husband, but because I was just a child myself, I didn't know that I was.

One day my husband came home from work expecting me to pleasure him but I was so exhausted from working and cleaning, that I fell asleep.

The next time I opened my eyes, I was in the hospital.

Somehow I had fallen downstairs.

I was told that Harold found me. I think he did it. I also think he thought I was dead so he called the operator and asked for an ambulance to make it look good.

I lost my baby. I cried everyday about that; I almost had something that I knew would have really loved me.

My husband said that I wasn't complete anymore so he sold me to his best friend that lived next door and he bought my little sister from my father.

I hated my father for selling my baby sister to this crazy man.

I could hear her screaming everyday and every night next door and I would cry with her.

I felt so bad for her.

When our husbands would leave to go to work, I would sneak over there and do my best to comfort her.

I would clean Harold's whole house for her and cook his dinner before he would get home to keep him from beating her.

"Spring Falls"

She was only 13. My mother never taught her how to cook and clean because she never thought my father would sell her that young.

My mother could not defend us. She was only 26. She was just a child herself in her mind.

My father purchased her from my grandpapa.

One day I saw the ambulance over Harold's house.

I ran over to see what was going on thinking that she had finally put a knife in his back like I told her to.

Oh My God! Instead of it being Harold, it was Springs' body that was carried out on the stretcher. My baby sister! Please let her be alright ! Please!

Spring did not make it through surgery.

She had lost too much blood and the doctors couldn't save her.

Spring slashed her wrist.

She wrote my mother and I a letter.

My letter read...

Dear Autumn;

You were there for me many days when no one else would be. Thank you for loving me and being there

for me. I love you and I am sorry. I could not take another day of pleasuring that nasty stinky man. I hope to see you again someday.

Take care of yourself.

Spring Falls

The letter she wrote to my mother wasn't as nice.

Mother,

If you had been a good mother you would have never allowed my daddy to sell Autumn and me to that old stinky man. I hate you for that and I hope never to see you again.

I am at peace now.

Spring Falls.

When my mother read this she dropped the letter and began to cry, she knew Spring was right. I blamed her too but I would never tell her that.

I hugged her and tried to reassure her that Spring really loved her.

My mother blamed my father for Springs' death, so she went home and shot my father and then herself. Neither of them survived.

I had to bury all of my family members in one month. I really didn't want to bury my father but my husband insisted that I bury him because he would save the extra money since he didn't have to pay for me anymore.

Harold didn't suffer long. He purchased one of the twins from the neighbors next door.

"The Murder Plot"

I was really mad now. I spent the next few months trying to think of a way to kill Harold and Ben.

Ben is the husband I have now.

He is just like Harold. That explains why they are best friends.

One day a man approached me at the supermarket, he wasn't a stranger.

I went to school with him when we were children. He should have been my real husband. He really cared for me.

I asked him did he know anyone that could help me knock off two guys.

I explained to him what had happened, he said he understood why I wanted him dead and he also said he would look into helping me. 'Get back with me." We made plans to meet back at the supermarket parking lot the next week.

It is good to know that there is a chance that, those nasty stinky men are about to see their last days on earth.

We got together and I explained to him who the guys were and where they could be found at night. After we agreed on a price, the car that we were sitting in was bombarded with police cars. I didn't know we had that many police in this town. I was set up.

I was taken to jail and had to sit there until my trial.

It wasn't a long wait because I had no problem admitting the incident or the reason why I did what I did.

The judge understood it all, so he gave me crazy time. (Meaning: he thought that everything that had happened in my life could make a person a little crazy).

I was sentenced to 5 years with reduced time considering if I could behave myself. I would be in jail but free from the two nasty men that caused me to be here in the first place.

Well, Ben divorced me after he heard about my plot to kill them and he bought the other twin from the neighbors.

Poor things, I felt sorry for them.

I was in jail with no family left to visit me. I cried so much for Spring and my mother. I thought about the years in my life and everything that happened to me. I am 19 years of age and in prison. Those stinky, nasty men are in their late 30's and still enjoying their life.

I have five years to think about what I can do to stop those two from breathing.

"Momma Eva"

A year after I was there, this lady was transferred to my institution by the name of Eva.

Eva was a large woman. She had a manly look about herself. She had been in and out of prison since she was about twenty-five.

"Hey lil' momma Miss Eva said to me".

"Heeeeeeelllllloooooo".

"What is your name she asked, like a man would."?

I had trembling in my voice as I answered her.

"My name is Autumn. Autumn Falls."

"Well Autumn, Autumn Falls." "You are a little cutie."

"Thhhhhhank you Missmiiiisss Eva."

"What's up with this Miss Eva thang?" "My gals call me Momma Eva."

"And you don't have to be afraid of me."

"Well Miss Eva if you don't mind, I don't go out like that. I am nobody's gal."

Oh, my goodness I must have went crazy again.

Excuse me, what did you just say to Momma Eva?

"Nothing!" I said very quickly. (Thinking to myself, good she didn't hear me). I turned to walk away but in the process I felt my body jilt back. Goodbye world, Miss Eva and her gals is about to kill me. Two of them grabbed me and Miss Eva ripped my clothes off and started to fondle my parts, I started to scream and the guards outside of the door just turned their back on the incident.

I was raped several times over.

After they finished raping me, I was cut up and thrown outside into the shower stalls, where I was found by one of the good guards.

I survived that incident too. But, now I will have to add Miss Eva to my list of people to kill.

One of the guards that were standing outside of the cell when I was getting repeatedly rape was, Officer Shannon Douglas, C.T.A. (Certified Trial Lawyer). She was working undercover in the prison and she asked me if she could take my case.

"My case I didn't know I had a case."

"Well you don't if you do not want to pursue it."

I suggest you do. You can be set up pretty good when you get out of here. Also, you will get transferred to another facility. You will be in protective custody and your sentence will be reduced by two years.

"Okay, what do I do?"

Miss Shannon, helped me with everything I need to do to get my life back on the right track.

I spent 4 years in prison before I was eligible for parole.

When I came up before the parole board, I was asked about everyone that I had come in contact with in my life and how did I feel about each of them.

Of course, because I never practiced lying I told the board that I hated them all and hated what they had done to me.

I have tried 4 years to forget my mother and my baby sister, but I can't, and since they didn't make them pay for what they did to my family and to me, I think they should die or come as close to death as they possibly can.

Have any of you had your whole family taken from you in the same month over something as crazy as a man or two needing to get themselves entertained by young girls?

I was never able to truly tell my story.

Can I tell my story?

Can someone sit down and listen to me for a minute please?

Can I tell you my heart was broken?

How my baby had to be sucked right out of my body, from my supposedly accidental fall down the stairs.

How that nasty stinky man and his friend beat, me and my little sister for being too tired to "pleasuring them."

How my baby-sister couldn't pleasure that nasty dirty man anymore? So she took her life.

How my mother killed my father because she allowed him to sell us the way he did?

Why I had to spend 4 years in this dump, get raped and my body cut up bad enough to be in protective custody in prison?

The whole group was crying, including myself. I couldn't help but to breakdown.

The way I feel right now it may not be safe for you to let me go because those two nasty, stinky men and "Big Eva", will all be dead.

It's hard not knowing where you will go or what to do from here.

I have no one or anything.

I got my GED in prison.

I have very little skills.

I would just appreciate it if you let me go back to my cell and leave me alone, thank you, and I walked away.

After all the probation board finished crying, they all talked about my case.

They decided that I needed some serious counseling and a few more months to think about my feelings toward killing people.

One of the ladies on the board asked to speak to me one on one.

I agreed to the visit.

She informed me that Shannon Douglas recommended my board to you because of everything you have been thru.

You are a brave young lady.

Has anyone ever told you how you were allowed to make it through all the things that you have gone through.

Excuse me, I said to her?

Do you know why you are able to sit here and talk to me right now?

Miss, if you have the answer can you please share it with me, and stop asking me questions in riddles?

You are here because the Jesus knew that out of all of your family members you would be the one that would endure.

Did he also know that I would fail at killing the people that made it possible for my family to be dead too? I asked sarcastically.

Who is this Jesus you are talking about anyway?

I don't know anybody name Jesus.

Honey all your life you lived in a neighborhood with a big white church right next door. No one ever asked you to come in?

No! I used to listen to the music and hear the people screaming and shouting, but I didn't know what was going on in there.

Well the people that use to walk in those doors never spoke to me as they walked inside, so I didn't know.

So, can I tell you more about my Jesus?

If he is responsible for allowing me to make it through all I have been through in my life, please tell me.

She talked to me for hours and when it was all said and done, I had turned my life over to Jesus and felt very good inside. She gave me a Bible and asked me to read it everyday. As I read I learned about the way he was treated and thought to myself, those mean people must have been related to those nasty stinky men and Miss Eva.

Now that I have Jesus, I have family again.

I talk to him everyday and for some strange reason I think I hear him talk back to me sometimes.

Before I knew it, it was time for my 3 months evaluation.

This time when I came before the board, I was able to tell them about my new family member. They were so pleased that I was released.

My lawyer and new best friend gave me a check for two million dollars. Harold, Ben and all the other nasty stinky men from that block were all put in jail and all the young girls were returned to their parents.

Because Harold never divorced me, I was given his house. I had it torn down and had a half way house built to house and counsel all the young ladies that were used and abused as I was.

I found a real church home and became a very active member in the church and in my neighborhood.

I think about my family often, but I know that God made a way for me and although Autumn went through a lot in my life, I didn't "FALL".

The End

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