A Toast

by The Tones

      "A toast!" I declare drunkenly to the very interesting wall across from me.

       The ice rattled against itself noisily against the glass and I found no response but silence before suddenly a moan sounds through the wall, dropping my stomach with it. Oh...I had forgotten to start playing music before they started their...session. Or that's how I referred to it myself. Turning on the small speaker beside my bed I angrily clicked the volume button up. Again, she had come in and half-ass exchange pleasantries with her toy before she went for the main prize; the love of her life though she refused to admit it, my roommate.

       Sometimes the music wasn't loud enough to keep out all of the noise out. This was once such night. Tonight wasn't like any other night. I couldn't ignore it like I did all of the others. I wasn't sober. Seemed like my plans had gone very opposite; I had started drinking to forget that tonight was going to be one of those nights and it ended up making it all the more obvious. It amplified the pain of the empty bedroom even more.

      But the worst was the anger. The rage. Many times had I fantasized about stringing them both up and skinning them alive before setting them ablaze along with various other methods of sick torture. My drunk eyes scanned the room then, looking for something, anything to break and destroy. My TV? No, too valuable. My fan? No, keeps the air cool in the hot summer. The wall? I could punch a hole in it. That would get their attention. Make myself known instead of existing as a sidekick and a toy trapped in his own bedroom by loneliness and jealousy.

     I raised my fist and prepared to send it crashing through the wall bringing with it my pain, loneliness, envy, and sadness. Maybe then they'd understand. But my fist lowers and scoops up my pipe. I looked down at it sadly, realizing that the night was quickly headed down the same drain it headed down every night. Loading the glass up with the devil's lettuce and cranking the music up to heights unknown, I sent myself to the world of dreams with a simple puff.

    On the floor, in front of the wall, sat the glass of liquor; silent, as though waiting for the wall to come down.


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