A Journey to the Heavens

by Chase Polak

As the sun sets, the stars rejoice; their foe vanquished and the throne emptied. The stars illuminate the sky in a blaze of glory, thankful that their moon is now king. Dark envelops the light and tranquility kills what was once full of life. The clouds of day weep for the loss of their king, and wait for a new day, a day when their lord shall rise again.

As I sat there in the rain, on that night, under the glistening stars, I began to think. I began to think a thought that terrified me. The walls of my mind were a cloudy white devoid of all content minus one small canvas in the corner. That canvas had one word. And that word terrified me. That word was the word that has terrified every living being since the beginning of time itself. And that word was death. Written in dark black ink, the word appeared to pulse across the walls of my mind, expanding, flickering, and overpowering the light. That thought; that dreadful, terrifying thought, became reality. The inkling of an idea became concrete, demolishing the walls of my mind, my body, and my soul. There are no last words, no final regrets, or even pain, only darkness. Some might say the story ends here. They say death serves as a firm period to the sentence called life. On the contrary, death is merely a question mark, yearning for an answer.

I expected release from the darkness imprisoning my soul. I expected a triumph of angels glorifying the lord. I expected more. All I got was darkness. Darkness to my left, darkness to my right. Darkness up above, darkness down below. And darkness in front of me coupled with darkness behind me. Cloaked in the dreary veil of death, I realized I was now no more man than the birds in the sky, the fish in the sea, or the beasts on the land. Nothingness was me, and I was nothingness; the absence of anything.

For what seemed like a millennia, I waited. I waited for anything to replace the dismal cavern of nothingness that towered over me. A brick wall seemed to impede my consciousness and extinguish my restless heart. Slowly, my senses began to return to me. Looking down, I saw myself once again. Where there was nothing, my once forsaken body returned to me. I twitched my foot, than my hand, than my arm. Emotions could be felt once again as twinges of fear, doubt, and sorrow; Remorse, anger, and confusion all burst out of the dam built up inside.

Hesitantly, I took a step forward, attempting to unmask the secrets of the darkness. Where I stepped, light broke through the veil, tearing it with the force of a thousand chariots. Through the light I began to peel away the darkness and discern what surrounded me. Curiously glaring through the darkness, I began to make out five shapes with the help of the light I had uncovered. Cautiously, I stepped again, once more revealing light that shattered the darkness. I saw more figures surrounded me. With each step, and each burst of light, I realized around me stood hundreds, maybe thousands of people of all the colors of the world. They looked at me in astonishment, either afraid to speak, or too shocked.

Like statues, they stood there and waited. For a few minutes, the only sound I heard was the throbbing of my head and a soft ringing sound in my ears.

Penetrating the eerie silence came a voice the sound of thunder itself. Booming across the landscape, and rippling with the wind came a voice, Why mortal hath thou come?

Well, I couldnt think of an answer as it was really not my intention of coming here. However I did respond saying, Well, sir, if I can call you sir, I died, or I think I did. Following my stout answer I asked a question of my own. Why are you here?

God contemplated this question. God had never been asked this question; God had only ever answered this question. Immediately God began to see the irony in having the infinite knowledge in knowing the meaning of life in humanity, but could not place the meaning of life for himself. God sat there looked into the vapid void above and wondered aloud Why am I here?

This burning question had suddenly plagued the heart, soul, and mind of God. Thank God came to the realization that there was no God. God looked into the void and thought to himself, Where is God?

God thought to himself, Where was God when my son was crucified on the cross? Where was God when he gave his life to save humanity?

Almost, instinctively I responded, I am here.

There was a brief silence. For what seemed like eternity, and it might have very well been eternity, an eerie silence shrouded the heavens. Nothing moved, and nothing dared to move. Gently, a warm sound floated across the heavens. God was laughing. It was not laughter of jest, laughter of mockery or dishonesty; it was laughter of joy. It was the laughter of God. Next came the tears of God for the first time, God cried. God realized that for eternity, God had taken it upon himself to live in a world without God, and it was a bleak and sad world. God remembered that he had sacrificed his sanity for his creation by living in a world without God.

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