It Hurts

by Jordan Wellnitz

Though I smile and say I am happy,

Inside I have not stopped crying.

Everything hurts;

My heart aches, my stomach is in knots.

I wanted so badly to believe in you,

But everything was a lie, and it hurts.

 

It hurts knowing that all of the promises you made

Were nothing but empty words of complacency.

 

It hurts remembering all of the time we shared

-All of the hugs and kisses, the late night conversations-

Were nothing but a simple way for you to pass the time.

 

It hurts thinking that all that I gave you

-And all that I would have given you-

Was nothing more than meaningless trinkets.

 

It hurts knowing that I gave every piece of my heart to you,

Yet it was still not enough.

That I was not good enough.

That despite everything I did for you,

All you could see was the one thing that I didn't.

 

It hurts knowing that everything you ever said to me

Could be nothing more than lies.

That all of the dreams, hopes, and fears we shared

Meant nothing to you in the end.

 

But the thing that hurts the worst

Is that, even after all you've put me through,

I still love you.

 

So when I say I wish you the best, I mean it.

Because what would really kill this broken heart of mine

Is if, even after everything, you were still not happy.

That the sacrifices I'm making for you

Are still not good enough.


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