Dead Rich Auntie

by Geoff Foden

He was having happy dreams

One night tucked up in bed

When quietly and carefully

The thought snuck into his head

Was this thought quite serious?

He just hoped it was a joke

But unfortunately it was

Still with him when he woke

You see she was his quite rich Auntie

He'd never bore her any malice

But sadly now, this was not so

He'd been caught by avarice

He thought it out, this little plan

How to get rich quick

Even though the thought of it

Would make him feel quite sick

It would have to be a place he knew

And where he felt at home

On Friday night the time was right

He knew she'd be alone

She was in the kitchen

Preparing them a meal

He'd brought with him a butchers hook

(Because he liked the meaty feel)

He crept up behind her

And then he raised the hook

He didn't know the floor was greasy

If he'd only had a look

As he slipped.... and gurgled

She turned 'round and saw

Her loving, caring darling Nephew

Stretched supine on the floor

He could see she wasn't shocked,

And in fact she wore a smile

As if she'd always known what

He'd been planning all the while

Now was it intuition

Was it second sight?

That made her put the butter

where it was hidden from the light

He thought he'd been so careful

And that he'd played cool

But his Aunt looks down with pleasure

At her stupid nephew fool

Now his life leaks all around him

What a mess he's made

And thinks " Thank God it wasn't Auntie "

As it all begins to fade...

Geoff Foden (Circa 1997)

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