The Homicidal Tendencies of Elias Kazer

by Andrew Mayler

Im going to KILL YOU!!!!!!!

Just Kidding. Im not going to kill you. But I could. You know that dont you? What am I saying I course I could kill you right where youre standing. But I wont. Why? Because youre my friend so I will treat you as such. Sofriendlets get to know each other shall we. My name is Elias Kazer, I am twenty. I went to Ed Gein Catholic High Shool. Class of 09. My occupation? What would I call my occupation? What would call my line of work? Youre my friendyou should give me a hand and help me place a name on this occupation of mine. Killer! Thats the word. I ama Killer! I wasnt always a killer you know. Id like to talk about that but Ive never been good at recounting stories or adding detail. Lets talk about my daily routine.

     Its currently 10:32 in the evening. Im tired, weak, and Im not covered in blood. Whats wrong with this picture here? I need to go out. I need to go out and kill right now. The voices wont let me sleep until I kill again. Ill just go out, kill some hooker or homeless guy, or whoever, appease the voices, and go home. Simple, easy as pie. Should I take my gun, my knife, my tire-iron, my baseball bat, my axe? What do you think? What would you kill someone with? I like the way you think. Kill em quickly. The gun is the winner. But then again, it wont really appease MY hunger for killing. I think my baseball bat would be the appropriate weapon for tonight.

     This is my favorite time of day, technically knight, but you get the picture. The city is almost asleep. The criminals and the scum of the earth come out at this time. I consider myself almost like a..uha defender of the night. My love for killing makes these streets safer. I guess you could call me Elias Man!! With his Bat of Truth, Elias Man rids the streets of criminals and makes you sleep sounder at night! Da-dadada!!! You may consider my methods cruel and brutal. But I have decreased the rapist population in the city by 8.3%, so think about how 8.3% safer your city is before you go criticizing my profession. I expected to see more people out at this hour. Its sort of unnaturally deserted. My heads starting to hurt. The voices want their victim now. But there isnt anyone. Why isnt there anyone? Where are you!!! Come on out!! The voices they want you dead! Just come out and take whats coming to you! Thats it! First person I see, Im killing them. I run up and down streets, sweat dripping down the side of my face, the cool night air blows and my sweater does nothing to keep me warm. I need to kill someone. I need their blood! Just as I say this, a hear footsteps. The clicking of heals down the street further fuels my desire. I hurry about a block ahead of the footsteps. They wont see it coming. They wont expect Elias Man!!! Dadadada!!! Take that villain, and thatI strike their limp and lifeless body harder and harder still. It need their blood I Need the satisfaction of taking their life. Ive rid this world of one more criminal, mission accomplished. Lets un-mask this evildoer II know this person. Shes my neighbor. Shes my friend. This woman was my friend. Hannah De Lacey. She would always check on me and make sure that I was ok. Shed always have a smile and that always brightened up my day whenever I thought about what I had to do. She represented the only bit of joy in my life. She was walking home from the hospital after spending several hours with her dying father. She often told me about it. She was the only on who actually stopped to ask me if I was ok. No one ever asked me if I was ok. My mother never asked me my father never asked me. No one!...asked me. She didnt expect this she wasnt the bad guy she was my friend and Ive killed her. Ive killed one of the only rays of light and hope Ive ever seen in this world.

     I need to get out of here I cant look at what Ive done anymore. Ah! The voicesthe voice want morethey NEEDmore!!! No! Ive already killed my only friend. Ive killed my happiness do you enjoy my pain? Does it appease you. You horrid little machination up in there. Are you satisfied!!! You want me to kill myself? Here Ill bludgeon myself to death. Will that appease you? Will it! *Whacks himself once and he stumbles back and kneels down* Heheheare you happy now? Youve killed me. You wanted me to kill now your making me kill myself. Why do you make me kill. Some sort of satisfaction as seeing people squirm and resist. Why cant you do it yourself? Huh? Stop using people to kill. Do you enjoy this? It hurts. The ringing, the screaming. I hate it now. If you can make me kill people, make me kill myself. Lets go back to me apartment and then well let the torture begin.

     Heres my tire iron. Make me beat myself to death. CmonIm waiting. Maybe youd be happier with a better weapon. My gun. Heremake me pull the trigger and send th bullet right through my head. Cmon what are you waiting for! Make me pull it! Why not? You make me kill people why not make me kill myself? Huh? You need me dont you. Without me, you are deadand so am I. So be it. If I am free of you, Ill be happy. Hells probably not as bad as this. *puts gun to his head, cocks it and slowly pulls down the trigger. He cant bring himself to it. He tries again but it is futile. * Why cant I die? Why wont you let me die? You bastard! You bastyou bastard. Wait, this is all just in my head isnt it. Yeah yeah Im just crazy and I have some weird debilitating disorder that makes me think I have voices in my head right? Right? Im probably imagining this whole situation now. Ill just wake up and Ill be fine. Ill wake up in thepadded room that Ive been living in for the past three years. With no one. No one at all. Not a single soul for three years. You think Im mad dont youfriend? Im not mad or crazy. Im fine. Im not a killer, its just a few...homicidal tendencies

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