I felt cold.....frozen.....feeling a cold pain shoot through my arm throught my body.I stood in my upstairs bedroom with my hand pressed tightly against what seemed like a frozen window.My other hand lay rested on my father'sold journal when he was in Iraq.When I stood there looking into the yardsacross the street,the houses,and the cars that rarely passed by,I thoughtabout dad.Him in his.....loose fitting hunting jacket.He was always prepared for a deer to come wandering into places they shouldn't be.On the day I got the news,I felt like dying.I remember staring out of this same window at night watching police and two soldiers,who were recently were in the army with my father,come up to our door.When I heard my mother's cry,I knew.....he was dead.Why else would the police come to our house at night with those two soldiers.When momhad asked where his body was,they replied that there was nothing to bury.He was blown up in an explosion.They said that they didn't know who caused the explosion,but they would soon find who.Though I didn't want to give up searching......I believe we will never catch him.Instead of staring out the window at the ground below,I seemed to of focused my eyes on my right hand.The pain stung as the cold frozen air seeped through my unprotected skin.I felt it being pushed through my vains,and up to my head where the thought of dad clears my mind.My hand eventually decided for itself that it was time to let go.Before I even thought of removing my hand.....it was removed.The memory faded as if it never had happened.
I stood back holding my cold bare hand feeling the tips of my fingers.Dad's journal fell on the floor when I took a step back.I got down on my knees,and picked up the old crumbling journal.In the corner of my eye I saw a slip of old brown paper peeping out of the journal.I opened to the page which had the number 118 on the top middle part of the page.Beside the number were two small designs.They seemed to remind me of an old victorian styled note or letter.In the middle of the paper were a few words I couldn't quite make out.The only words that seemed clear were Alexandra and tree.
When I finished looking at the note,I began to wander why the word tree and my name was in the note.I gently moved my finger under the smallslip of paper feeling the roughness from it being torn.I turned the small paper sideways and placed it in the journal.I put the journal up to my nose to smell the scent of what smelt like gunpowder and smoke.I could just feel dad's presence behind me.I closed my eyes and I could see his dark brown eyes staring at me.I felt as if I just died and left this miserable place so called earth.I felt like I was in heaven.....with dad.I had just opened my eyes when mom opened the door with her red apron and her sisters old purple shirt she never truly liked.Her wavy dark brown hair was put on the top of her head all unbrushed.''Breakfast I ready.''she said in a gentle sing sond voice.Then she slammed the door shut.I put down dad's journal and walked up to the door where I left a note that listed things to today.I opened the door and walked down our creaky stairs while looking at the long list of things.When I got to the last step I smelt what seemed to be pancakes.I went over to the table and sat down still looking at the list just wondering what to do first.When mom turned around after organizing what looked like spices she said,''Whats that?''She had a confused look on her face cause normally I don't carry a slip of paper and not look at her directly.''It's a list of things I have to do today.''I replied.''Oh''she said,''Can you add going to the bakery?''I took my eyes off of the list and looked at her directly without a sign of regret.''Why'',I said she pulled out along list about as long as mine and just tilted her head a little and looked at me.''Plus you are getting bread from the bakery right?''Then with out thinking I said''Fine.''I was wishingI never had said a word.I grabbed a pen that was lying on the table and wrote muffins on the list.About three minutes later mom had left and I just got ready to leave when I thought about that note in dad's journal.I ran upstairs and grabbed the note and ran to the table.I sat there looking at the note,analyzing everything about it.Then thought about the hidden letters.I all of a sudden had an idea.I flipped it over and I could see right through the paper.I could see the letters that were suppose to be there.I grabbed another paper and put the words in order.The note was suppose to say,
Go behind a wide open fence.
And see a tree at one single glace.
I looked at the letter like it was a death threat.I just kept thinking,''What does it mean?What fence?Why is a tree envolved?I didn't know all I knew was for the rest of the day I was going to find clues to find this fence.