She lay in the hospital bed, eyes closed, listening to the sounds around her; the hum and swish of the polisher as it moved along the corridor outside closer now, then passing her door and moving away slowly, its rhythm never changing.
Had she fallen asleep, she did not know. In the silence she could just hear the clock on the cabinet next to her, the slow tick tick as the seconds passed, but time was no longer important to her. Her eyes remained closed she was so tired.
As she lay under the crisp sheets she became aware of other sounds it seemed as if it was trying to nudge her into wakefulness, like a voice calling to her. A trolley being pushed slowly along the corridor outside, its rubber wheels squeaking slightly on the newly polished floor, voices in the distance, coming closer then passing her door, the sudden laughter at a shared joke as they moved away disturbing her peace even more. The building seemed to becoming alive as the time was passing, its 'heart' beating louder and loudermore and more sounds, more and more people passing her door, more life.
Still she lay unmoving eyes closed, hoping that her stillness would be passed onto the world around her, and it would all stop, so that all would be quiet again. So very, very tired.
She became aware of the smell of the coffee that had been placed on the cabinet next to her bed. It made her think of the last time she was at home, cosy in her own bed happy and content. Her thoughts were stopped, as closer now she heard the rustle of clothing as someone passed her bed, the sweet faint smell of perfume as someone took her wrist in their warm hand, she opened her eyesthe nurse smiled at her
"How you feeling now? Better after that little rest I'll bet "
She closed her eyes again without replying, had she rested? Had she slept? She didn't know she felt strange. uncertainwas all of this a dream..
She opened her eyes again, about to ask a question, but not sure what the question was. The nurse was close to her, and then she felt a weight being placed in her arms. She looked down at the bundle that had been placed there, no longer tired ..she smiled
He was perfect
Dark soft downy hair with little curls gently brushing over tiny ears, the rosebud lips, parted slightly, his eyes closed with their lashes so long they almost brushed his cheeks.
She took his hand in hers, his fingers so tiny, with nails like tiny pearls; she leant and kissed them gently. They felt cold on her lips, she tucked them gently into the blanket in which they had wrapped him, a delicate shade of blue, so soft like his skin she closed her eyes again.
Had she fallen asleep, even more uncertain as time still had no real meaning, but the hospital had continued its hustle and bustle. Visitors now coming and going, she caught glimpses of them as they passed the window in her door, laden with gifts and flowers, giant teddy bears and balloons.
She looked down again at this perfect tiny form in her arms. A tear rolled gently down her cheek and landed on his. She left it there, afraid that if she moved, it would break the spell, and the magic of that moment in time, which only the two of them would share.
She closed her eyes, holding her baby close to her, his head close to her face, taking in that sweet smell that only newborn babies have. The door opened, she knew that she would have to open her eyes soon, but didn't want to.
A hand touched her arm gently but firmly so she had to open her eyesa different nurse this time, but that same half sort of smile.
" You ok dearieneed anything?"
She shook her head, afraid to speak. Afraid that if she did the spell would be broken, and the magic lost.
" I just wanted to make sure you were ok and leave the pictures we took here on your locker. I will just leave you in peace then, but ring the bell if you need anything, anything at all"
The nurse left, closing the door behind her.
She looked down again at the perfection that she held, the tear on his cheek had been joined by another almost touching, still she did not wipe them away.
More tears fell and suddenly the pain was almost too much to bear it felt as if her heart had stopped beating, just for a moment.
The tears flowed freely now,
He would never enjoy laughterfeel the sun or wind on his face.
He would never cry tears of his own so she cried for them both and she held him close.Her son Alex.