The Easy Way Out

by Brandon

There I was, once again, sitting in the dark, cold, lonely room. My mind void of expressions; my body numb from anguish. The door shut and locked. Staring at the bottle of pills by my side. Thoughts racing through my head. A voice telling me, do it, do it, you're nothing, no one cares about you. I had enough of being a nobody. I was a disgrace to everyone. I just needed a way out.

My thoughts faded back to the weeks, months, and years of hell. Thoughts of school. I failed every class possible. The teachers, always on my case, pretending to care, the students, they mever stopped harassing me. I walk through the halls, only to get tormented and shoved. Too weak and tired to defend myself, I pay no attention to them. my ome life, just as bad. I'd come home and immediately get crticized and hollered at. My parents, didn't care whether I lived or died. They mean nothing to me anymore, and I mean nothing to them. I used to think that at least one person cared about me. She was my world, my fire, my love. With her, nothing else mattered. She never let me down and I could always count on her to be there for me, to comfort me, to hold me. Nevertheless, I was wrong. I couldn't be more miserable. I had no friends, my family was never there for me and never will be, and the only girl that I'd ever loved, never loved me back. Oh, how I wish I could be someone else.

Blocking my horrifying memories, I slowly picked up the bottle of pills. I closed my eyes and poured a handful into my quivering hand. Suddenly a loud knock at the door broke the weary silence. I sat there, motionless. Then a second knock, and a third. I slowly got up and walked to the door. I opened it and there she stood; in the light, like a beautiful angel who'd been sent down from heaven to rescue me, her gorgeous brown hair shining in the light, her graceful face radiated with beauty. She seemed flawless. I just stared at her with my deceased eyes. She saw the pills and immediately knew that something had to be wrong. I told her to go away, but she wouldn't leave. My fists clenched and my eyes burned; I started to yell and curse. I begged her to leave and let me be. She paid no attention to my demands. Instead, she grabbed me and held me close, her heart, beating against mine. Then I did something unusual, something that I hadn't done in years. I broke down and cried. I cried and cried until I couldn't cry anymore, and my thoughts no longer haunted me.

I realized something important that night. I realized that taking my life would have been one of the most selfish things I could ever do. I also realized that no matter how bid the problem, I need to conquer it; suicide is not the answer, even if I think that no one cares about me. There's always someone that does. I was fortunate that night. God put a beautiful angelic person in my life to care, comfort, and love me, and that's the most gratifying feeling that any individual could have.

My life gradually got better. My grades improved little by little. The students no longer harassed me. I could actually talk to my parents and not get into an argument. As for me and my true love, we resolved all of our conflicts, and no matter what happened, we would be there for each other. My life felt complete; until one night I found myself, once again, sitting in the dark, cold, lonely room. My mind void of expressions; my body numb from anguish. The door shut and locked. Staring at the bottle of pills by my side.


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