Leaves

by Logan DeHart

An unknown presences beckons and I feel the compulsion to come. As he or rather should I say it looks at me, I feel its eyes looking into my thoughts. Nothing is hidden from it. But I still struggle in vain to throw up my mental wards. It laughs, and speaks in an indescribable voice "You are only making it harder on yourself young man. You know what I am, you know if you can look deep enough inside and find out." As I continually peered at him, no longer did I attempt to hide my thoughts from him. But still I couldn't figure out what he was. Yes, I decided to call the entity a him. Simply because it just doesn't seem justified to call something like that "it". Suspicion began to spread like warmth across my body and then it became wildfire. Was this thing God? Was it Satan? I didn't know what to believe. But then, he beckoned again. He wanted me to come with him, to visit where he was going to take me. Who knew where this trip would take me? Who knew whether it would be enjoyable, scary, sensual? He did, it did. This entity, greater than good or evil. Greater than wrong or right, was now taking me away.

An endless stream of nonsense surged through my head for a brief moment as I stepped forward. And then I was here.. I was there.. I was everywhere and nowhere at the same moment for just a moment. Then I saw darkness, no, not complete darkness. I could still see, see what was in front of me and around me. But it was dark, like I had just followed this entity into a portal and who knows.. maybe I did. And there was suddenly a path for us to walk on. It was dark around us and it seemed to me that it was eternally like this. There were places to walk off and it looked like we had just came from one, these all appeared to be portals. The man or thing in front of me kept walking as if he knew where to go. I followed him dutifully, not thinking about where this could take me or if this could be my demise. As we were walking, curiousity began to set in. I was wondering what was past the path. However, for that moment I was to scared. But soon, as each step went by, step step step step, curiousity began to eat through my fear. No longer was I acting because I was scared, this was simply something new and interesting that I wanted to experience. So as I looked ahead to see if He was watching me, I walked a path towards the edge. It was strange, I could see down but I couldn't. Then I realized why, it was because this was a path and beside the path there was just darkness. Fear gripped me again and then I realized that I was slipping, apparently the sides of the path were smooth and I was falling. Panic ensued and I didn't know what to do. The strangest part of this was that I was also feeling excitement. I screamed for him "Help me! I'm going to die!" This was my constant scream to him. I just kept screaming it, finally it got his attention and I fell. But I grabbed the sides of the path and held on for my dear life, but I knew that it wouldn't last long. It was like a movie sequence unfolding beneath my eyes. A young man grasping onto something so that he wouldn't fall and his friends trying to save him. But this time it was strange because he was there. As he looked down at me, he didn't offer help at first. Instead, he watched me. And I looked up. And saw his face. And it was so peculiar, there was something there. But it was a human face, don't get me wrong there. Completely and entirely human Homo Sapien if you will. I couldn't quite place what was so weird about his face but I had seen it before.. I know I had. Anyways, so he hauled me back up unto the dark paths and I steadied my feet. They didn't feel my own and they just wanted to invert themselves. But so we resumed our journey with the only change being that he now walked slightly closer to me.

Ha, of course he would walk closer to me.. He was trying to make sure that I didn't die! But anyways, as we kept to our path I slowly came to a realization. It was getting lighter, not drastically lighter like it was going to be daylight. Just slightly more bearable. As we crept forward I realized that we were a metaphor, the one that speaks of the inch worm. And we were making small steps along a huge path. But slowly and without a few breaks we reached our destination and it was magnifico! Like nothing I had ever seen. Slowly at first, as we approached. I saw it, a tree top in this barren place. And as we got closer I realized just how huge it was. Why it had to be 50 feet tall. And it was going here, where there is no other vegatation. A flowering tree of all things. And there was colour, on the tree. It was giving off a slight amount of light as if it was fluorescent. But the most noticable thing about it was the leaves. They were red, a dark red and shaped, why you may find this unimaginable, they were shaped like a heart. A perfect red heart. Now to some of you this won't seem amazing but you had to be there. It was so special and unique to the mind. Then and there all things were forgotten. I couldn't think of anything simply because I didn't want to. Then, Snapped back to Reality as he stepped forward and I heard the crunch of those leaves. That bastard! How could he do that? He was just walking on top of those magnificent things that nature had created. I ran forward and shoved him off of them and he fell. I.. I was dumbfounded. I had just tumbled this monolith of power. He looked at me in a cold stare with that simple peculiar face and stood up. And stepped towards me reaching in the air.

Slowly, I realized what he was doing. He was simply reaching up in the air to grasp onto a leaf. As he grabbed it no longer did I feel enraged by him befouling this sacred tree. Instead, I was enthralled by his mysterious movements. He grabbed a full leaf and pulled it off. With an audible snap the tree relinquished its hold on the leaf. He was within arm's reach of me and I could feel his eyes roving over my body, I could see his chest rise and fall with each breath. He held the leaf out to me. I didn't know what he wanted at first but then it came to me. He wanted me to take the leaf. He wanted me to hold a part of this sacred tree. I reached out with my hand and then I realized, I was shaking. All over my body I was shaking. My hands, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to hold onto this leaf as I reached forward. I grasped the leaf. And my whole body shook as I felt that power and then..

and then.. the world shook and I flew. I was spinning in a free fall. I saw the world from far away. I saw the world in an ultimate close up. It was an amazing experience and I didn't feel scared. Instead it was pure adrenaline all the way. Taking in all that. Seeing a small flowering plant in 1000 zoom. Seeing the separation of the continents. All within a span of 15 seconds. Then, abruptly, I was grounded. I opened my eyes and felt the push of hot water on my back. I was in the shower. I was back in the shower. Or had I ever left? I then realized that my hands were pruny so I stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel. I wiped a circle on the mirror so I could see myself and I fell. I couldn't believe what I just saw. Attempting to stand up, I grabbed the towel rack. That reflection. The person I had saw in the mirror was that man, that entity. Slowly, ever so slowly, the realization came to me. My "guide" was me. That was why it looked so peculiar. That person, that thing. I put the top to the toilet down and sat down on it, trying to sort out what this all was. My whole.. adventure has been a trip through my mind. I had made all of that stuff up. It was a self-exploration trip through the interlacings of my mind. Wow, that was hard to comprehend for myself. I.. I couldn't figure out the symbology of all of the trip. The tree.. with the red hearted leaves.. A dark place with many different gateways and entrances. Was this how my brain functioned? Or was it just a complex thing I had formed in my imagination to explain to myself how the brain worked. Why had this happened to me? I was amazed.. That this knowledge had been bestowed to me. And I will use it my whole life. And I hope to travel the dark paths many times again. The last thing I saw out of the corner of my eye, was a red-hearted shaped leaf lying on the bathroom counter, completely perfect in its entirety.


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