I don't know how it happened but I care about a girl. Its not that I've never cared about a woman before its just that I've never cared so much. Its confusing to me because I always told myself that I'm to young to be "in love." The term is so cliche to me. But I've never felt so strong about a woman, I don't know how else to describe it.
I love my friends of which she is one of my best so telling her "I love you" was easy and almost routine. But now when I tell her I mean it with every fiber of my being. If I'm honest shes not the most beautiful woman i know yet to me she is the epitome of beauty, her eyes are gorgeous and pierce through my heart when she looks at me the way she does. Her smile warms my soul and makes me weak, she is so smart, and funny. Shes someone I love spending time with just because I get to be near her. We can sit together and do nothing in near silence for what seems like hours yet that would be the highlight of my day. Just silence and her. Her personality is so cute and loveable. I don't know what i would do without her.
When i first started to have these feelings I told myself it was an infatuation and that it would pass in time. I was wrong. No matter what i told myself or how many other woman I dated or messed around with, none of them mattered to me half as much as she did. I tried to talk myself out of it, taking a logical approach, and it would work, for about a week or until she would do something so irresistible, like smile at me, that I couldn't help but care again.
I don't know how she does it but she gets men to love her so easily with out prompt or suggestion. That's my only issue with this girl, she is affectionate to everyone. So when she shows me affection I'm not sure if its out of true affection for me or just because that's the way she is. I suppose I'm stuck with my feelings until she decides what to do.
She talks to me about how she wants to break up with her boyfriend but whenever she tries, he asks for one more chance and for some obscure reason she gives it to him. I despise that man not only because hes keeping me away from the woman i love but He abuses her, not always physically but abuse is not always physical. He doesn't necessarily hurt her but he violates her. He thinks just because they're dating he can touch her anywhere at any time he sees fit, and he talks to her like she's nothing and it infuriates me. I used to think he was a good guy but ever since she told me what he does I can't stand the sight of that man. How she cant see that he abuses her is baffling to me. I wish I could save her but how do you save someone that doesn't realize they need saving.
I want nothing more than to be with this woman, something I don't know will ever happen. She has so many men to choose from what makes me special what sets me apart. The only thing i know for certain is that i will cherish our every moment together, I will respect her more than she has ever been respected, and I will love her more than any man ever could. I hope one day she will come to know this for a fact and we can be together. Until then this my heart in so many words, this is how I feel and this is my love.