Love is one of the most confusing and painful things in the world, for instance. If love is failing, not going the way you desire it to go, it can eat away at your mind, and it can even make you sick inside, it can make you jealous, it can make you sad. Even in some cases love will make you angry, it will make you depressed and hate everything you see just because, what you want won't go the way you want it to. All these emotions and feelings can be triggered because, maybe you like someone and they don't like you back the same way, maybe you like someone but before you came along that someone likes another person more than you, but you are close to them enough to make you feel like you have hope and this keeps you motivated to try and try. You could love someone and they also love you back but your both afraid of what each other think, and before you get the chance to make a move, the moments gone, blown away like leaves in the wind.
Don't get the wrong idea about love though, because when this amazing emotion is working for you, when it is going perfect love is the best feeling in this world, having someone in this world that cares about you so much, someone that thinks about you everyday and wants to be around you, the feeling you get when you physically touch them and the happiness you will get when you see them after a bad day. Nothing comes close to this feeling, but love isn't easy, it doesn't magically come perfect straight away, you need to work at it, and in time you will have it in the grasps of your hands. The question is, how do you know when you truly love someone? There are many symptoms for this emotion, too be honest it really depends on the person. I like to think that the main one is, you want this special person to be happy no matter what, even if that means this person cannot be with you, even if this means you have to be unhappy. All that matters is that, you want this person to be happy you want to see the smile on there face. This is exactly what the boy that loved me felt, and I only wish he was around now for me to be happy and smiling by his side.
It all started on a website of all things, love will strike you in many ways. And in our modern age, the internet is unavoidable. His name was Jarred, he was a friend of one of my friends I had actually never met him, I saw him posting silly things on a website called "myspace" through my friend Rhiannon's home page, he was cute and he had a funny sarcastic personality so I added him to friends got his email and that's how all this started, the internet changed our lives. At the time I was in love with a boy called James so I didn't have any intentions on "getting with" Jarred, but I was eager for new friends. But there was a hiccup with me and James, he lived in another state, and as people say long distance never works. Hell they were right, never being able to see the person you loved would eat you up, when I was upset James was the one I wanted to see but I couldn't, his parents were strict so I couldn't even talk to him on the phone, the only pitiful moments I could communicate to him were short periods on the email chat program, and texting through mobile phone. How sickening to the stomach this was.
Ill skip a few chapters ahead, me and Jarred were really close, it was actually amazing how much in common the two of us had, he would make me smile like James did when he was around, I was actually feeling more happy. But I still loved James more than anything, I wanted to hold him, I wanted to seee him again, I wanted to hear his voice, but I couldn't. Jarred of course knew about James, he knew how depressed it would make me, part of the reason I liked Jarred so much was because he would talk to me and make me feel better about it. My friend Rhiannon had told me that Jarred also loved me and wouldn't stop talking about me; she said the things he said were some of the sweetest things she's heard a boy say. But why wouldn't he say it to me? To this day I have realized why, he didn't want to interfere, even though Jarred loved me, he knew I wanted James, he knew that being with James would make me happy so he didn't want to ruin this. This brings me to the final part of the story. I get a call from Jarred which is unusual he doesn't do it often, and in the morning of all things. He tells me to meet him at this well known park, tells me he has a surprise that I wont want to miss, and that it wont take long.
I arrive at the park and Jarred is sitting down at a bench under a tree with his evil cute grin on, I run over and give him a hug as I always do and sit down in front of him. He looks into my eyes, really serious now. "You know Kairi; you told me once, that no one has ever done anything amazing for you except your parents raising you, and I swore to you, that I would change that, at first I thought I might use this to my advantage, a way to make you love me, but that's not what I want, I don't want to use something like that for my own advantage, too be honest I just want to see you happy after all these problems with James, so I thought I would organize something. Because I love you." I sit there speechless taking it all in and before I can say anything he starts talking again. "But I know who you love too. And I know he is a good guy, he makes you happy and I know for a fact he cares about you as much as I do" he pauses for a second looking into my confused face and says five words that I remember giving me the butterflies. "James you can come out" and sure as he said, out from behind some bushes James walks over smiling, I remember how fast I got up I screamed "James!" ran over to him and nearly knocked him over by jumping for a cuddle. "James how are you here I thought ure family can't afford a plane ticket" "Jarred payed for everything, and I'm staying with my aunt and uncle like when I met you" I turn to Jarred, he was just standing there with his arms crossed smiling, I always forget how tall he is, I run over to him my eyes watering and give him the biggest hug I ever have. "You guys have fun; he can only stay for a few days, but Kairi. Be happy time will fix everything, as long as you remember the good times" He gave me a kiss on the top of my head and walked over to James, he shakes his hand and leaves. As Jarred was walking away I thought, this wasn't a good enough thank you, he was about to cross the road so I started to run over to him, he was about half way across when I called his name. But being road smart unlike me he waited until he was fully across the road before turning, but me, the mistake I made will haunt me forever, I blindly ran across not paying attention to the car coming, I could hear James yelling something, and the look on Jared's face was pure fear, it was at this moment I found out how much I truly meant to him, and at such a cost, I've never seen someone run so fast, he got to me in a second pushed me out of the way, but he was hit, he hurdled over the top of the car and rolled a few meters. All I could do was scream "Jarred" as I ran over to him, this was our last moment together, the moment I knew that I loved him too, he looked into my eyes and said "I love you Kairi and I always have" "before he went I replied "I love you to Jarred" tears down my face. It must have taken so much of his energy but he reached up wiped some of my tears away and smiled. I grabbed onto his hand and felt it go weak and watched his eyes slowly close.
These last moments really showed me, love is when you want someone to be happy no matter what, even if that means this person cannot be with you. And I learnt that and I will always remember it. I love you Jarred, I'll see you again one day.