The Past, Missing Person

by Kyle Diston

The Past, Missing Person.

Written By Kyle Diston.

I've been having this dream lately, over and over again, where I'm travelling, somewhere up north, maybe Liverpool, and maybe I'm seeing someone or maybe I'm just going to get away, and then something happens, I'm in an accident somehow, with no id, nothing on me, maybe my bag goes missing and I do keep everything about me in it, I wake up in hospital, no memory of my life before, no memory of the people I know or the life I lead, and with nothing to work out who I am doctors, police trying to work out my identity, but with nothing to help, I am a no one, a new person, anyone I want to be, time goes by and with no one to tell me who I am, I make a new name for myself, a new identity, one where I am fresh and have no cares in the world, given a new place to live, a new bag to fill with a new life, making new friends a new career, making the right decisions perhaps and having a better life, and I think how appealing that idea seems to me, now in the waking world, to completely wipe the slate in such a total way, that the person I was with all the worries and depression, that no one sees with the smile on my face and the sharp smart mouthed attitude, was completely gone, and I was someone new, then the dream continues, travelling around once again, meeting someone who apparently knew me from before the accident, one of those mistaken identity moments, being called this name I didn't even recognise from a person who I couldn't place, being told things that just sounded so unfamiliar to me, they take me to my apparent home, to my apparent family and nothing seems familiar, I wander around the room which is apparently mine, seeing names, faces which might as well not be there with the lack of memories to go with them, being told these things about this person I apparently was' past and trying not to listen at what I am hearing, because comparing the things I'm being told to the life I'm leading now is unbearable, like this is just a nightmare, I'm not this person I didn't want to hear it, I wouldn't want to be this person, their life sound so harsh and difficult, so much pain, so much hidden thoughts, and saddened moments, again and again, walking around meeting people who continue the dread asking me questions to which I didn't know the answer, taking me places which where I have apparently worked, been to, I just wanted to go home, to my new home, to my now home, wanting to be away and realise that this accident though it damaged me and caused me pain, was like a lift from a world I didn't want to be in, like a quick fix to all of these problems I had thankfully forgotten all about and would most likely never know again, I could start anew and be anyone I wanted to be, and that's just what I was doing, and I decided once leaving this town, this city, these people who were now strangers and would never be the people they wanted to be in my life again, I would never give another thought to this person who I am glad I am no longer, and I never did.

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