VICTIM

Jess Hollins saw a rider coming and wondered why anyone in their right mind would be riding a swayback mule, especially one without a saddle. The rider was a hundred yards away riding with her back to the sun. She was hatless, and her clothes looked as if they had been on her back for some time.

Jess sleeved sweat from his eyes and watched the rider draw nearer. The Nevada sun was high overhead baking the barren plain like a potter’s kiln.

The rider drew rein in front of Jess' cabin and sat looking at the old man with hooded eyes.

“What do you want?" Jess asked.

"Like to water."

"You just rode past the well. ‘Spext you want more than water." The woman shrugged and spat upon the ground.

"You don't recognize me?" she asked. Jess spat himself and said,

"I know who you are. I'll ask you again, what is it you want?"

"It's me, Pa."

"I ain't blind. What are you doin' around here anyway?"

"I just got out."

"Bullshit. They don't let murderers out that soon. I reckon you must have broke out."

The woman swung down from the mule."I didn't tell you to alight, did I?" Jess said.

“The mules’ wore out.”

“Just like you to run it down. Guess you stole it from some place. What do you want here, Sarah?”

“I come to see Ma. How is she, anyway?”

Jess glanced up the hill above the ranch. “She’s up yonder taking her rest. She died three years ago. Broken heart. Not that you would care.”

“You’re wrong there, Pa. I thought about her the whole time I was locked up.”

“Did you think about your brother, too? The one you killed. Or should I say murdered.”

“I didn’t come here to talk about that,” she said. “I come to see, Ma, but I guess I’m too late. I swear.”

“Yep, you’re too late for a lot of things. You might as well come inside. It’s too damn hot to stand out here in the sun yakin’.”

They went inside and Jess uncorked a bottle of whiskey. They sat at a kitchen table and Jess said, “I know why you really came back. You was hopin’ I was dead. You was hopin’ you was off the hook for killing your brother.”

“How do you figure?” she said. “I just spent fourteen years in a hell hole. What do you mean off the hook?”

“They should of hanged you, woman or not. You deserved to die for what you did. You still do.”

“You don’t know all there is to know about that. You weren’t there. You don’t know what happened.”

“I know what the jury said. I know what your mother testified to. You calling your dead mother a liar?”

“No, I’m sayin she wasn’t privy to the things William was doing to me. She didn’t know about the abuse. Or if she did, she turned a blind eye to it.”

“That’s neither here nor there at this point. You had no right to take your brother’s life. There were other ways to deal with his— “

“His what? His craziness? You weren’t there, Pa. You were off chasin’ cows around the territory. You didn’t see what he did to me.”

“William was a good boy. He was smart. He knew things. He was gonna make something of himself. And you took all that away.”

“He was a rapist! A damn perverted animal. And he came out if your loins. You brought that sick son-of-a-bitch into the world, and I was the one who had to suffer for it. You damn right I killed him. And I’d do it again before I’d ever let him put his filthy hands on me again.”

“Liar. You’re a black liar.”

“Why the hell would I lie about something like that? You knew, didn’t you? You knew all along that there was something twisted about him.”

“He was a good boy.”

“Yeah, a good boy. And what was I? What was I, Pa? Just the girl you never wanted, right? Just an inconvenient mouth to feed. You never wanted me around and you know it.”

Jess began to cough. He covered his mouth with a trembling hand. When he took the hand away blood stained his fingers.

“You ailin’?” Sarah asked.

“Consumption.”

“How bad?”

“Graveyard bad. Not that you give a shit.” She stared at him, unaffected by his hateful glare.

“So, what happens now?” she asked. Jess shrugged.

“I ‘spect one of us has to collect our wages.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know what the Good Book says. The wages of sin is death. And you sure have sinned your share.”

“And you’ve not sinned?”

“Sure I have. But you killed your brother. Just like Cain. Justice says it should be you who has to die.”

“So, you’re gonna murder me now?”

“Murder, no. I have a proposition for you if you’re interested.”

“Such as?”

Jess walked over to a gun cabinet and removed a brace of Colt .44 pistols. “I figure we can do this right,” he said. “I’m gonna give you the chance you didn’t give William.”

“What are you getting’ at?”

“We’re gonna shoot it out. Just you and me, facing each other, not back shootin’ like you did William.”

“And if I don’t agree?”

“I’ll shoot you where you sit. As God as my witness I will.”

“I ain’t got no gun.”

“You’ll get one of these Colts. What’s it gonna be?”

Sarah sat quietly for a moment, pondering her options. “What if I just get on my mule and ride away and never come back?” she offered. Jess shook his head.

“And let you escape Justice again? No, this ends today, one way or a another.” She took a deep breath and said,

“Guess I don’t have a choice.”

“You got that right,” Jess said. We’re gonna walk up to the cemetery together. We’ll square it there. I wanna be close to your mother and William if you get lucky and drop me. If I drop you, I won’t have to drag your sorry ass up the hill.”

“This ain’t what I wanted. This ain’t right.”

“Too late to talk about right. Get movin’.”

They climbed the hill to the cemetery and Jess handed Sarah one of the Colts. He stepped back a few paces and tucked the other pistol into his belt.

“I’ll be dead in a few months,” he said. “My lungs are rotting away. Ain’t no pleasant way to go, smothering to death. A part of me hopes you kill me today. End it here and now. Another part wants to look you in the eyes as you lay there dyin’. You need to apologize before I kill you. To me and to William. It’s only fair the way I see it. You ready?”

“I won’t apologize for defending myself,” Sarah said. “Not to William, and certainly not to you. And I won’t give you the satisfaction of ending my life. You don’t deserve that.” She raised the pistol, placed the barrel of the gun in her mouth, and pulled the trigger.

Jess stood over the body until sunset. Then he returned to the cabin and sat at the table in the dark.

Morning came and still he sat. The mule brayed and kicked against the porch steps. Jess went outside and shot it.

Then he took a shovel up to the graveyard and dug two graves.

He buried Sarah, then sat down in the other grave.

The barrel of the pistol was cold against his temple. But only for an instant.