My Dream Playmate
This is a story about a love affair I had with a Filipino call girl from San Francisco. People that think they know me would be shocked to read this story. It may sound so un-believable and a complete fantasy. To think such a religious, Christian man would have such a sordid affair with a call girl is just absurd.
It is true that I have been blessed with walking so close with His Spirit before and after this affair. However, there were times in my life only God’s grace and His mercy was powerful enough to bring me back into His loving family. No one can figure God out. He even used my evil, permissive, drug and alcohol walk away from Him, just to be used by Him to help so many others. This affair took place at the height of my mid-life crisis between my second and third wife.
The fact that this story is true is not the most remarkable part of the story at all. The truth is this is a story about a most remarkable sweet and beautiful little Filipina named Lee, the call girl. Even more important is the fact that even I had completely forgotten all about this love affair. My short-term memory loss had been progressing but I thought my long-term memory was still kind-of okay until one day.
My adult daughter was having trouble with a relationship and I was trying to comfort her. She loved him very much and he was not in love with her. In fact, she was just one of his playthings and there was nothing she could do about it. I held her in my arms as she cried for a very long time and then I went to bed to try and sleep. Out of the fuzz and dark part of my life, I remembered that I had an experience that might help comfort her.
I got up and wrote her a short note to explain that I once left someone that loved me crying as I told her good-bye. That note opened a floodgate of memories that I had been suppressing for years long before my dementia. I started thinking and writing one draft after the other and my whole view has changed completely. From being one of my darkest memories of Lee crying in a dreary airport motel room to something completely different.
This story will start with the short note I gave my daughter that brought back a forgotten love affair. Then I will re-tell the story as best that I can still remember all these years later. Sometimes the story may get a little graphic. A story about a call girl love affair named Dream Playmate, what do you think?
Original Message to Daughter
My sweet daughter,
Last night after our talk, I got to thinking about it. I remember a long time ago something like your situation happened to me. Only I was the guy saying no to the girl that I was sure she was in love with me. The thing is I had not even thought about her for so many years. Maybe if you heard it from another guy’s point of view it might help you understand.
I was between my second and third wife, way back in the eighties. I thought I had all my romantic problems all figured out. Blame my uncle Jimmy but I paid good money for access to a dark website for foreign women who want to marry American men. I made my selection for the cutest Filipino already in country.
I remember paying even more money for the phone number to call her direct. I gave her a call and we talked for a long time. Next thing I remember we were making plans to meet for dinner. I picked her up at her apartment in San Francisco and we went out for dinner.
I can’t remember very much about what all happened after that. I do remember falling in love with her and spending some weeks together. What I remember most is the night we said our last good-bye. Don’t remember now but there must have been a very good reason in my stupid male brain. I don’t even remember what it was about her that made me pull the switch to not allow our love to continue.
What I remember most is seeing her begging me to stay with tears on her lovely Filipino face and still I had the strength to leave. Don’t even remember why but then guy’s thoughts are not always very logical. Still feel so full of guilt and remorse for that night.
Both you and Lee have something in common. She was beautiful and so are you. I am sure Lee went back to Manila and had a great life. I would have been her biggest mistake. Same goes for you. Loving someone that does not love you will always be a mistake.
How You Met Lee
After taking the time to write that note to you daughter, you started to remember more and more details about Lee. The more I remembered the more incomplete that version of this story became. So, this is more of what I can remember to write down for you before it is gone forever.
It was sometime in the mid-80s, between your second and third wife. You had been separated from Shirley, your second wife, for several years. I don’t really remember how long you were separated, but it was for about a total of eight years before you married Dee, your second wife. You had a number of girlfriends and even a lover or two but nothing was working out.
I don’t know if you were just dumb or just that lonely but you decided to look into a mail order bride. Only one thing was certain you could pick out the most beautiful bride and she would be easy to care for. I blame it on your uncle Jimmy. He told you stories about his live-in housekeeper when he was in the Army stationed at Clark air base in the Philippines.
I don’t remember him telling you if she was pretty or not but I do know he really liked her very much. He told me of his drunken parties with his buddies from the army and how pleasant she was always to him. I don’t remember if they were lovers or not but sex in the Philippines was pretty easy to come by if you had money. He told you how friendly and nice she was to all the girls he brought home.
It started out so straight forward and upright. You were a middle-aged Christian man living with your teenage daughter. The bar scene was not right for you. God, knows you spent enough time looking for that right woman to fill all of your dreams in both churches and bars. This was going to be the answer.
As I’m writing to you this story my memory is already so faded that most all I have left to pass on to you is bits and pieces and mostly feelings. I will write down as much as I remember some 40 plus years later.
I don’t remember how but you got on a website for foreign women looking for American husbands. It looked pretty good. That is, it did not seem to be pure sex for hire website. Remember back in the 80’s your computer was still running a DOS operating system before windows. I don’t remember but I know it cost a lot of money just to get membership to view the women available. Thanks to my uncle, I filtered my selection to women from the Philippines and already in country.
I thought, what the hell. Even if this was just another sex for hire website, I could have a great time with a high-class call girl, without going to the Philippines. I thumbed through page after page of the most beautiful young Filipinas I had ever seen. You made your selection and paid the fee to get her phone number to call her direct.
After looking at all those beautiful women and reading their suggestive bios I really think you started to get excited and thinking more about a call-girl than a bride. You got up enough courage and made that phone call.
Five minutes after hearing that timid little voice answer the phone you knew you had to meet her. She told you she was in trouble and needed my help. For all I knew it was all part of the act to get more money. The more she talked the more convincing she became. I don’t remember what she told you on that first phone call but there was nothing going to stop you from seeing her. She said the membership plus the phone call I could pay another fee to take her out to dinner.
I remember the funny feelings you had as you made that 4-hour drive from Fort Bragg to San Francisco. Was this a girl really in trouble or was this going to be the greatest one-night fling in my life. It was a high-rise nice apartment near UC San Francisco. You were shaking like a leaf when you rang the doorbell.
A middle-aged woman answered and asked you into the front room. There was a man sitting on couch and a couple of other girls in the next room. The woman started to ask questions and I knew I was in the wrong place. This was not my date’s apartment but more like a whore house. Whatever, you were committed. You had the $200 bucks in your pocket she had told you it would cost to take her out for dinner.
The woman asked you if you wanted to meet Lee. Then she walked in the room and your heart started pounding. The crummy mugshot on the website did her a great in-justice. She was stunningly beautiful with a short tight little black dress. My eyes went from her perfectly shaped legs up to her tiny waist. She had perfect high firm breast and an angel face. Long dark hair and a sweet smile as she sat down beside me on the couch.
The man said,” this one is special, she is still a virgin”. She is running out of time and needs to get married soon. Bring her back from dinner a virgin or don’t bring her back at all, we well find you. I knew exactly what that meant.
Lee took your hand and looked you in your eyes. Don’t remember what she said but there was a lot of chemistry and feelings going on between us. You gave the man the $200 bucks and you walked out together holding hands. I will have her home before midnight, as they closed the door.
Can’t remember what was said or how long it took to get to the restaurant. Sorry, I don’t remember all the details but it was like out of a Hollywood romance movie. As I write this story to you, I can still see the image of this goddess sitting across the table from you. It felt like you were looking through the lens of an Air-Flex movie camera, filming scene for a Hollywood movie.
The lights of the San Francisco Bay falling across her beautiful face and the reflection in her dark eyes. It was difficult not to notice how the light played on her breast showing just the right amount of cleavage. All this sensual imaging going on but it was so out of whack.
She was not the professional the image was projecting. She was timid and very shy, just like she was on the phone. You had seen that same look of terror in those eyes back at the apartment. She told you the story of how she got into this situation.
She was from a well-off family back in Manila and was really just looking for a husband to get her parents out of the country. Everything was going wrong and she was afraid she would be forced to marry to whomever her handlers could get the most money from. Other girls back at the apartment were being forced to have sex with clients, if they paid the right amount of money.
Her godfather had a contract with these people to let her select a husband and get married in Vegas and fly back home in 30-days. It was supposed to be a quick sham wedding right from the start. She agreed to do this knowing she would be safe because no one would cross her godfather with all of his underworld connections.
Marcos had just declared martial law in the Philippines and her godfather was now missing. Now she was being treated just like all the other girls back at the agency. She knew she would be forced to marry and live with anyone they selected for at least 18 months. A year and a half of free sex and a housekeeper was worth the $5,000 price tag.
Under your breath you thought, that was just what you had in mind, you dirty old man. Somehow, you believed her story and you were sure she was really in trouble and wanted to help her. You asked her what you could do to help her. She said, marry me and take me away from that place.
I knew I was in serious trouble by this time. I confessed to her that I was still legally married and I could not marry her. Then she started to cry and you felt so rotten inside. She stopped crying and told you how good that was to hear and how happy she was. You were so puzzled you did not know what to say.
Then she told me more about her family and her boyfriend back home in Manila. Their families had been planning on a big wedding for years until all the trouble came up in the Philippines. She was in love with her boyfriend and he cried when they parted for a 30-day vacation to the states. She had agreed to this quick sham wedding just to get her parents out of the country as fast as possible. Now all she really wanted was to get back home but there was no escape from her handlers.
She told you one other girl was given a 30-day pre-marriage trail if half of the money was put up front. She told you, if you really wanted to help her, she had the money to pay them for a 30-day trial period and then she could stay with you until she got on an airplane back home.
Her 30-day tourist visa had already expired and she was worried about immigration finding her. Her parents had pulled enough strings to get her on a flight back to Manila somehow at the end of the month. The deal was simple, pay half the money up front and keep in contact for 30-days. At the end of the 30-days either produce a legal marriage certificate or bring her back un-harmed and pay the remaining half. They got their final payment when they could prove a legal marriage was complete.
She told you just what to say and what not to say when you got back to the apartment. She told you she had been a manager of a large bank back in Manila. I believed it, the way she laid out the plan for her escape from the marriage agency. Her vacation was over and she needed to get back to work.
You knew you had lost control and there were no stopping things now. She was so gorgeous and sweet and innocent and she was really in trouble. No question she was intelligent and crafty enough to pull this off, if I was willing to go along.
I don’t remember much about all that transpired when you got her back to the apartment. I know you had to let them make a copy of your driver’s license and sign some document to return her un-harmed at the end of the month. This time the environment was even more threatening than it was before dinner. You gave them half of the money and promised to return before the end of the month. It was clear to you; these people were not the kind of folks you failed to do what they said.
Another man came into the room and took Lee by the arm into the other room. A few minutes later she came back dressed in tight jeans and a sweater and caring a small suitcase. It was obvious she had been crying and you were afraid to ask her why. The moment we stepped into the elevator it was like a giant sigh of relief for both of you. You wrapped your arms around her and she began to cry un-uncontrollably. You held her shaking hand and walked her to your car.
First Night Together
In your dirty, lustful mind you had already made a reservation at a hotel in Santa Cruse. Without saying much, you drove her to the Dream Inn Motel overlooking the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk and the Monterey Bay. She took a shower and put some night clothes and climbed into bed, while you took your shower.
She laid on her side at the edge of the bed with her back toward you. You slid into bed and held her trembling body next to you. Without saying a word, you held her in your arms until she cried herself to sleep. By this time, you knew she had been telling you the truth all along and she was not your sex toy for the night. She was in fact a real lady in serious trouble and it was your job to protect and save her.
When you woke up, she had rolled over and was facing you with her head on your shoulder and her legs wrapped around yours. She woke up and was looking you right in your eyes and smiled with such a sweet look. You had fantasized for years how it would be to have sex with a movie star like this. Your expectations of a wild crazy night of ecstasy with a professional call girl paled in comparison with what you were feeling. Sex with a call girl would be over in minutes and she would be gone.
This was something totally different and far more satisfying and had lasted all night. This beautiful angle was still here lying next to you and you thought this was only a dream. You don’t remember a word she said but you do know they were like honey dripping from those beautiful lips. She snuggled up even closer and placed her sweet head against your neck. She was still trembling inside from all that was going on in that pretty little head of hers.
In the morning she called her mother back in Manila. You had no idea what they were talking about because they were talking in Tagalog. You do know there was a lot of sobbing and emotion and she seemed not to be so frightened after the call. She handed you the phone and you were able to talk to her mother in English.
I don’t remember anything she told you but some feelings still remain about that call. You knew you had a precious gem in your care and you promised her mother to keep her safe. She must have told her mother that you did not try to have sex with her that night and that you were being a gentleman. You must have told her you would take good care of her daughter like she was your very own little daughter in trouble.
After breakfast you went for a walk on the beach holding hands. Not like lovers but more like a daddy and his frightened little girl. You told her you would be taking good care of her and never worry about sex between us. You took her for a couple of rides on the Boardwalk and everything seemed to lighten up.
From then on, she was going to be your little girl and you would show her your Christian love and a safe place in your arms. Her deminer was changing form being a frightened scared woman to becoming a sweet little girl in the hands of a loving daddy.
What do daddies do with their little girls, they go to Disneyland. You got a room in the Disneyland hotel on the 6th floor overlooking the park for 3 nights. I would like to say the extreme pleasure watching her run and jump from one ride to the other in her excitement was the best memory. That was not all you remember about your stay in Disneyland. No, it was not the dinners with the Disney charters or the laughter and joy she was having. What I remember now most to tell you is the sweet long nights in bed cuddled up so close with her.
It was obvious that she had never slept next to her real daddy like your daughters had. She was so appreciative that it was so safe and warm next to you. You could feel the fear of being so close was fading away with every night. By the time it was time to leave Disneyland, she was getting so close and familiar with sleeping next to you. As I write this story for you, I remember those days at Disneyland when she was just your little girl and you were her daddy.
Things were really changing for her. From being so frightened out of her mind to having such a good time. It was true; Disneyland was the happiest place on earth for her. Looking back now, this is where she made her big mistake. Little girls tell their daddies about everything like their friends, family and boyfriend.
They lived in a big house in a very nice neighborhood just out of Manila. She did not say but it was clear she had house maids and drivers to take her anywhere she wanted to go. She went to the finest Catholic schools and graduated from a very good university in Manila. They had a summer house in Baggio high up in the cool mountains in northern Luzon.
Vacations in Japan because her father was part Japanese and still had some family there. Her mother’s uncle was her wealthy godfather and they were very close. Sometimes her godfather would take her and some girlfriends from college for two or three overnight trips on his yacht. You could see why he would like to have 3 or 4 beautiful teenagers like her along for the ride. It was on one of those calm peaceful sailing trips with her godfather is where she met and could be alone with her boyfriend.
The stories about her boyfriend were probably the most important factor that stuck in your stupid brain. He was from another high society family and they were to be married some day after everything settled down. She told you that she loved him and how he cried when she left on vacation to the states for a month. He did not know her real plan to get secretly married and come back home.
After college her godfather got her a job at a bank and soon became an officer. Not long after that she became the branch manager. Then everything was going south and there was real trouble for her whole family. Her godfather told them he could arrange a quite sham wedding and she could file a petition to get her family out of the Philippines.
The long and wonderful pillow talks you had gone both ways. You told her redneck stories about where you were from and all the wives and girlfriends you had. It really was like daddy telling his new little adopted daughter all about her new daddy. The same for her like telling daddy about all the things she loved.
After Disneyland you took a ferry to the island of Santa Catalina just off the coast from Long Beach. This was familiar to you because you has spent a week there with your daughter and son with his beautiful sweet girlfriend before. She loved it so much. Shopping in all those little boutiques and walking on the beach. You rented a golf cart and drove her around the island. Dinners in the evening sunsets and lunches at different open-air cafes next to the beach. Just like Disneyland it was the long sweet nights sleeping next to this goddess that should give you so much joy to remember.
You left LA and headed to Santa Barbara for your next night with your little fairy princess. Stopped off at the Santa Monica Pier for a ride on that famous Ferris wheel. Ate lunch at Malibu Beach under the warm sunshine and waves hitting the beach. She was constantly looking out for movie stars. You did not care you were with the most attractive date in the whole place. You told her after lunch that everyone was looking at her. Your best guess they had never seen a real live princess like that, looking like a movie star.
Crossing that Line
You pulled into the beach-side cottage in Santa Barbra just about dark. She was hungry so you took her out to Brophy’s on the pier for dinner. You got a window seat overlooking the lights from the sailboats in the harbor. Looking at her eyes looking back into yours, things began to change for us both. That was the moment I want you to remember forever. The image of such a gorgeous lovely lady looking into your eyes like that is the thing wars are fought for.
Before bed she called her mother and talked for a very long time, at ten cents per minute. You did not understand a word they said but it was a lot. Then she handed you the phone again to talk to her mother. You found out where Lee got her business head from. Mom, or should I say “the boss” told me just how grateful she was that you were protecting her daughter. She told you that Lee was very happy with you and she was looking forward to spending time with you until her return home.
She told you they were leaving Manila and going up into the mountains until things got better in the city. She also told you that she would make it worth your while if you would see that she gets home safe. There was no saying no to her godfathers nice. The direct threats from the marriage agency were nothing. Mamma talks clear straight from her heart and meant every word she said. She said all that with the sweetness of such a loving mother, I felt the love of her daughter in her voice and you accepted the challenge with joy.
You hung up and did not have a clue what to say, so you just went to bed. She turned off the lights and crawled in bed next to you just like all the other nights. Snuggled up like before and you put your arms around her and tried to go to sleep. Sometime later that night she raised her head and her warm lips touched yours. You knew you would never have initiated anything so you knew it was all her idea.
If you could possibly ever forget the feeling of that moment, then you don’t remember the dozen teenage girls that had called you daddy. Never in your life ever thought you would cross that line with any of them. She was a goddess and you were so un-worthy to even be so close to her. No other way to explain it was like being kissed by an angle straight out of heaven.
You fumbled and asked her what was she doing. “Honey, your mother thinks I am your daddy and you are my little girl”, you said or something like that. At the very least you were more like a paid bodyguard. There is no kissing allowed. “As long as I go back home a virgin, they don’t need to know how much fun I had”, she said. You thought that first surprised kiss was something. The next one was something like an eruption from a volcano with more passion and built-up emotion.
If I remember, you made out with her all night long. Her soft velvet skin felt so good to touch. Kissing her beautiful face and neck was so sweet and un-real. Take your most favorite fantasy and make it come true. The most beautiful sweet innocent dream girl was enjoying kissing you.
Ever since you were a boy you fantasized and day dreamed about being a knight in shining armor to damsels in distress. You really thought it was your calling from God to protect the innocent and reflect His agape love to those in need. Never dreamed kissing your damsel in distress would feel like this. She was not a teenager, still it felt so wrong and yet so right all the same time. I think it was so taboo because you really was treating her like your daughter and now, she was acting like a sexy girlfriend.
You could not stop making out with this dream girl. What about your boyfriend back home? Well as long as I go home still a virgin, nobody has to know I had a boyfriend to enjoy my stay in California with. Besides she said all those romantic dinners and walks on the beach were having an effect on her.
After Santa Barbra, you drove her up the California coast on the coastal highway one. This time you were holding hands as you drove the twisted and wining highway. You had driven that beautiful coast highway before with other girls in your corvette. Not that the other girls were not pretty, they all were. You would not trade this ride even with your most favorite sexy movie star for the goddess sitting next to you.
You could not tell if it was the breath-taking view of the coast line or you, she was looking at. Whatever it was she was either falling in love or really liking the ride. You can put a beautiful woman’s face in a magazine but you can’t put the joy of that moment in her eyes like that. You taught her how to change gears in you vette as you held her soft hand on the shifter.
Stopped for lunch on the secluded beach at Shell Beach. It was only fish and chips from the bar in Pismo but what a picnic on the beach that was. Laying on the beach with her warm affectionate kisses, again it was like a seen right out of a romantic Hollywood movie.
You stayed on the coast highway past San Louis Obispo and just drove past the Morrow Bay Rock. You were not in a hurry so you gave in to her request to visit the Hurst Castle. You drove the Monterey loop so she could see the Pebble Beach golf course. She said she was still full from the picnic so you did not eat at the Cannery Row like you had planned. Then around the Monterey Bay back to Santa Cruz where you spent that first night together.
You got a room at the Dream Inn again only a different room. The room was not the only difference this time. There was something more than just physical going on between you and her. A normal person would just say you were just falling in romantically in love this time. Not you, you really believed there was something more, something spiritual going on between you. The scary thing is she was acting like she was falling in love to.
The next morning it was off to see the San Francisco cable cars. You had lunch at the top of the spinning Hyatt restaurant at the foot of Market Street. Then you took a bike taxi to pier 39 and Fisherman’s Wharf along the embarcadero. You took her up to the top of Coit tower to see the panoramic view of the entire San Francisco Bay. The Golden Gate Bridge and Alcatraz to your left and the Bay Bridge and Oakland to your right. Her favorite was the drive down the steep and twisting flower garden Lombard Street.
Crossed the Golden Gate Bridge and up to the Marin Headlands to view the city from high overlooking the bridge from the north. Looking down on the bridge with San Francisco shining like a gem behind it. Alcatraz island with the Oakland hills behind that. Golden Gate Park and the Presidio army base just right of the bridge.
Heading north we drove through the Muir Wood old growth redwood trees past Stinson beach to Bodega Bay. Another romantic rustic motel overlooking the harbor. Dinner by the fishing boat dock was like another movie set. The noisy seagulls and the smellie fish boats could not dim the sparkles in her eyes. The sunset warm rays lighting her intoxicating face was having a profound effect on your brain. It was another long talk with her mother back home and a short talk with you to. You were so embarrassed and ashamed because you were not being a very good father figure to her daughter, like you said.
Each time you tried to tell Lee what we were feeling was all wrong, she found new ways to distract you away from any such silly ideas. Just a few words from those sweet lips and a kiss or two and damn the torpedoes it is full speed ahead. It just felt like things were getting out of my control but you did not know what to do about it.
Bringing Her Home
The final leg to Fort Bragg you had to go through Point Arena and past the picturesque village on Mendocino. You did stop at the vista point to look at Mendocino from across Big River Bay. It is like a snapshot in time taken back in the 1800s. Settled by Portugal before the Russians or Mexico, this old-world village is unique. For now, we just drove through it on our way to your mother’s house just 15 miles north.
You parked in front of your parents simple small 2-bedroom old house and expected some negative response from your new girlfriend. There was nothing, she bounced out of the car and almost skipping holding your hand up to the front door. From her mansion back home to this simple little cluttered house must have been a shock. Nothing like that, she almost became one of the family from the very first hug she gave your dad.
Your mother loved her from the very start, then again, your mother loved all your wives and girlfriends you had ever brought home. Right away your mother told her that you needed to get married. I don’t remember all the reasons why but she was sure you were done looking around. Remember dummy, you were living there with Michelle, your real biological teenage daughter. She was in on several failures to your romantic relationships. What, even Michelle like your new girlfriend. She knew Lee was way to pretty and young to ever be a real threat to her daddy.
This is where the story changes again. Once more you slept next to her in your loft and your daughter slept in hers. The next day breakfast and more and more gushing from your mother and dad over your new girlfriend. You knew you had lost control and everyone was talking about you and Lee. Another very long talk with her mother on the phone and more talks alone with you mother.
You had converted your mother’s craft house in the backyard into a small studio for you and your daughter to sleep in. It was pretty nice inside with fresh new soft carpet and a small kitchenette and bathroom. You had built two sleeping lofts, one at each end of the studio. It had large skylight windows over the beds at each end. Well, they were not beds, they were just king-sized mattresses in the floor in each sleeping loft.
Michelle was spending the night with a girlfriend and you were alone in the studio that night. It was just like before you went to bed and was in the middle of the sweetest kissing and romantic embrace when she sat up on her knees and slipped off her tee shirt. The soft blue light from the skylight above the bed lighting those beautiful high firm breast for the very first time. Even as I write this story for you to read and remember that image is still so clear and vivid still in your mind 40-years later.
Her mother must have said something to her on the phone. Not even Lee would be so bold without some kind of okay from the general back home. Everything changed that night. This was a little more than I could bear. Up to this point you had never even copped a feel on them and here you were looking right at her bare beautiful breast.
They were round and firm as my most favorite Playboy Playmate of the year. Nipples that stood out asking to be touched. Okay, this is it, you could not take it any longer.
You told her that you had been having more and more pain in your groin and this was going be even harder now. I remember her exact words to tell you what she said. “I have brothers back home; I know how to make that pain go away”, she said. She helped you remove your underwear and she touched you and the world stopped spinning and stood still.
Your relationship with her changed with an explosion of ecstasy and relief. She laid down beside your trembling body and cuddled up next to you in only her panties and whispered into your ear. My mother said as long as I come home a virgin there were lots of things like that we can do. What are you talking about, this is not your mother’s idea? She had been talking about having that kind of sex for a number of days but never though her mother would be any part of it.
Turns out things were getting even worst back in the Philippines. The general had modified the plan. Since her daughter was having such a wonderful time on vacation with you why not just modify the original Plan. Plan A was to get secretly get married and come right back to Manila legally married. Plan B was to get her home as soon as possible, forget the marry part, she was in trouble. New plan, get Married and have a ball vacation with your new daddy for two years. Get married and file the petition to let her parents emigrate to the states.
Clearly Lee was willing to pull out all the stops to get you to file for a divorce and commit to marring her as soon as it was final. The first time was all over before you knew what was happening. The second time still was over in seconds but it was clear she did not know what she was doing. This was the first time she had ever done anything like that to a man. She was clumsy and fumbled but her touch felt so incredible. She laid with her beautiful bare breast on your chest and began kissing you like never before.
All those nights cuddled up so close and never touched her like this. Now your hands were gently touching all over her beautiful little body. She was giggling each time she had to wipe you off her breast. Talk all you want about your Playmate fantasies; this was like your boyhood dreams coming true in real life. We can do things like that every night as long as you let me keep my panties on, she whispered in my ear. Please say you will divorce your wife and marry me.
Your mind had been blown apart and you could not think of anything to say. You were losing all control and felt like you were being pulled apart inside. Let’s talk about it in the morning after I stop shaking. You were already skeptical if you could complete the task of keeping her safe for a month without falling completely in love with her. How could you possibly marry her and let her go in two years to return home.
She had confessed to her mother, back home that you were her boyfriend but she knew where to draw the line. What the general did not know that things between you was already more than physical. Now throw in the element of sex and there would be no stopping falling head over heels in love. We were already enjoying each other’s company so much and now you were actually lovers.
Any normal person would see nothing but stars and fireworks for just one more day with this beauty. Not you dummy. What you seen was nothing but conflict between extasy and heartache. You did not care about the words coming out her mouth. She had already told you in Disneyland how much she loved her boyfriend back home and how much she wanted to marry him and have his babies.
You knew you could never give her the life she was used to and deserved and children was out of the question. You felt you would have God’s blessing and support to carry you over saying good-bye in 3-weeks but there was no way you could survive saying good-bye in 2 years. Besides you did not believe she could say good-bye then either. Being her knight in shining amour for 3 more weeks was one thing but to be her lover for 2 years was out of the question.
You stayed awake most of that night coming up with a plan. For years you had been using still in love with your existing wife for an excuse to break off relationships. You were good at it for a number of reasons. Not only so much practice but there was also a bit of the truth in it making it much easier to pull it off.
Lee would be fighting a losing battle trying to get you to let her give up her life back home she described so well while in Disneyland. Back then it she was your damsel in distress and you could do anything to get her home safe. Now you were already wanting her to stay forever but at what a high cost for her.
The next morning you told her straight out that you would never marry her and that she had a date with the airline to go back home in 3 weeks. You gave her the story about still being in love with Shirley and lied about wanting to get back together after all the kids had grown up. She just smiled and said with a grin, we will see about that. Look at it this way, you had 3 weeks to show her the time of her life and just maybe she will get tired of you and want to go home.
I know you don’t remember but the next 3 weeks will be the greatest Playboy dream fantasy for you. It has been 40 years ago and my current memory of details are slipping away from me. So, I guess I will tell it as best I recall at this stage of your dementia.
It was the spring of the year when you met Lee. Now not only spring was in full swing so was your love affair. To be so in love and in such a magnificent natural beauty of the Mendocino coast. You thought you could keep distracting her from the marriage thing for as long as possible.
You took her out to the Mendocino headlands overlooking the wild blue Pacific Ocean. The bluffs were covered in wild flowers this time of year. The sky was a dark blue with white puffy clouds way out at sea. You spread out a blanket next to a patch of California Golden Poppy’s and ate another fantastic picnic lunch. Only this time it was more than wine and just kisses. She was pulling out all the big guns now to make you change your mind. Making out under the warm sun was much more intimate now after last night up in the sleeping loft.
Dinner with your parents and even more pressure from your folks before going to bed. This time it was much harder to keep quiet enough not to disturb your daughter sleeping in the loft at the other end of the studio. Each day you would take her to as many favorite spots as possible to show her the beautiful neck of the woods you grew up in.
As it turns out you would have been the perfect man even for plan A. A clean not bad looking middle-aged man with a good steady job living way back in the woods with no reporters looking around. Easily life with you for 2 years and never get noticed by anyone back home. Come back home still a virgin and marry her high society boyfriend and live happily ever after.
Assuming you had already forgot this wonderful experience with Lee, you probably don’t remember your history with taking photographs. Years before you owned and operated a professional photography studio in Noyo harbor just south of Fort Bragg. At the time you were dating Lee you had taken more than 50 weddings, including outdoor bridal portraits all over the Mendocino Coast. More than that, after closing the shop and going back to work for PG&E you accepted several dozen senior portraits each year. You knew all the romantic cool places to take brides and sexy school girls.
Before you took her to any of those places you took her to your secret secluded beach just north of Glass Beach. It is only accessible at low tide and there would be no possible people walking up on you past mid-tide. You had dreamed of taking a girl there since you were a young boy. You had a picnic on the beach and she was learning a lot more and more the art of making love to you.
Here you were, on your boyhood beach, where you sat as a boy and thought about girls. More than her magnificent body and sweet Filipino face, it was her passion in that place in that moment that should bring joy to remember. You would lay together on the beach and she would tell you how wonderful it would be if you would marry her. You would not have to work another day in your life once her parents got here. Until then they could not wire any more money for fear it would be traced back to them. Remember they were in hiding for some reason. You knew this was true because her mother had wired you several thousand dollars to protect her and show her a good time in Disneyland.
I have already told you how beautiful she was. She had the body and face of a Playboy Playmate. Until now I do not believe I have explained to you just how smart she was. Just like at your first dinner you knew you could trust her to pull off that get-a-way from her scary handlers, she was now planning your whole life for you.
File for a divorce, bring a certified copy to the marriage agency to keep them off your butt. Get married in 6 months after that and her parents could find a way to buy a big house for all of us to live in. She was sure everything would be perfect.
To be honest, red flags and whistles were starting to go off in my head just like you told your daughter. She always left out the part about her going back to the Philippines to marry her true love after two years. You could forgo the pride of her running your life but not breaking her heart. Not to even mention what it would do to your heart to say good-bye after two years of this bliss.
Forget all that for now, let’s just enjoy the next 3 weeks and cross that bridge when it comes. The next day you took her back to Mendocino for breakfast at your favorite upstairs café overlooking the Big River Bay. Corner table on the open-air balcony with the morning sun shining on her drinking coffee. The looks she was giving you was making you so excited and you were so in love.
Walked through the village stopping at several hippie shops and art galleries. It was like a step back in time to the 1800s. architecture and buildings look just like they did back then. You hung around to have dinner and seen a play at the art center.
The after drinks at the old Seagull Inn was a little crazy. Many of your old photography clients were artist and you noticed a few of them along with a bunch of pot smoking hippies you also recognized. One of your old artist buddies sat down at your table and started to talk to your date. Next thing he was asking her to come up to his studio to pose for him. It was time for you to leave.
The next day you went on a sweet and peaceful canoe ride up the Albion River. If you time it just right and rent the canoe at the turn of the in-coming tide, you can float for miles without even paddling. There are no roads or houses for miles and miles only pure nature on both sides of the slow-moving river. Beavers swimming around their houses made from brush and logs. Two otters playing on the south bank while a small deer was on the north side of the river. Lilly pads and frogs all along the banks. Wild flowers everywhere and kingfishers flying overhead. Tall redwood, fir and pine trees on both sides. The smell of rhododendrons blooming back under the trees.
Lee was laying in the front of the canoe looking up at the birds and trees passing over her head. You could not keep your eyes off her. It was such a pretty day surrounded by God’s natural beauty and in the middle of all that, Lee. By now she was beginning not to be so shy and was flirting with you from the front of the canoe. When the river got smaller and more intimate, so did Lee. Remember how hard it was to paddle and stare at the topless goddess five feet away from you.
Beached the canoe near a meadow covered with tall grass and a warm sunshine picnic spot. You had brought other women here before but it was never like this. They were both beautiful little love kittens but Lee was in a league of her own. After making out and making love you both jumped into the river to cool off and lay back down on the warm blanket in the sunshine.
You fooled around a little too long to catch the out-going tide. Even Lee had to help paddle the canoe against the in-coming tide to get back to the mouth of the river. Any nature lover would die to experience such a peaceful quiet ride through this wonderland. When you feel stressed or anxious, just remember the that peaceful canoe trip with your dream playmate.
She loved that nature trip so much you took her on a hike up to the Russian Gulch falls. Always before your backpack was full of camera equipment. This time only a bottle of wine and a blanket. The heavy deep green foliage and fern covered rocks reminded her of a canoe trip she had taken back in the Philippines. She tried to hide the tear in her eye as you were sure she was thinking about her boyfriend back home.
You took her to a number of beaches including the private beach near your old home at Pine Beach. You told her that you had taken some pretty nice nude silhouettes of you first wife on that beach. She started to freak out a little and said she could never do anything like that. You took her to glass beach and the private little beaches where you would take those teenage senior portraits. It was much more than the beautiful beaches; it was the pleasant company of your lover. Laughing and talking we became very good friends along with being lovers.
You decided to walk the Skunk railroad tracks from town to the company ranch. You showed Lee where you used to hunt ducks behind the Pudding Creek Dam. Remember how frightened she was to walk through the Sherwood Road tunnel. It is only about one block long but it seems much longer. Come out of the tunnel on to a wooded train trussell over the Noyo river. This is a popular teenage swimming hole and there were a dozen or so teenagers there that day. Surprised to see two adults walk out of the dark tunnel, they all stopped and stared at you, well not you, dummy, Lee.
The deep pride you felt in yourself for being the one next to Lee. All the boys were checking her out and by the time you crossed the trussell their girlfriends where giving them trouble. Somehow you could tell Lee was also getting into being the center of attention. You say that because of the way she was flirting with you as the skunk train passed by. People on the train were standing to look at her posing for them as the train went by. She was coming out of her shell and into tight short shorts and bare mid-drift halter tops these days.
One night you took her out to dinner and dancing at the Wharf restaurant down in the Noyo harbor. You tipped the owner and got a window seat just as the sun was setting in the bay. She stared out the window at the fishing boats and you stared at her lovely face and cleavage of her beautiful breast in the warm fading sunset light.
Dancing to the live country band in the lounge was another explosion of new feelings. Now you had done some slow dancing with about 2 dozen Navy wives between your first wife and your second wife while at school near Lemoore Naval Air Station. Only reason they would ever dance with you was because you were always a gentleman and other wives told them so. Let me tell you those lonely Navy wives did seem to enjoy being held close and tenderly.
This was going to be a whole new ball game. Dancing with someone else’s wife to give her comfort as a woman was one thing. Dancing with your lover is a completely different thing. Not like the Navy wives, Lee was not afraid to put her arms around your neck and cuddle her face against your neck. I was not shy about not keeping my hands just on her back and waist. Felt like we moved as a single body together with the music.
When the music stopped you noticed two of your work buddies and their wife’s sitting at a table all staring at you and Lee. Their looks were priceless to you. Given all the wife swapping just a few years earlier, Lee was going to be a problem. Years later one of those wives confessed how terrified they were that Lee would be your next wife to worry about.
You walked from Pudding Creek to ten-mile beach on the old logging truck private road. You showed her the State Park beach parking lot at Cleone where you used to park your corvette and pick up girls from the family campsites. Miles and miles of pristine beach and endless sand dunes where you used to drive your beach buggy as a teenager.
Lee was enjoying so much all the beautiful nature all around her. You decided to take her to your most favorite nature wonderland on earth, Yosemite National Park. Your dad had an old international harvester pickup and you had bought a full-sized self-contained camper. The truck was very old and noisy with a harsh ride and no air conditioning. It is like an 8-hour trip from Fort Bragg to Yosemite in the high Serra Mountains.
Lee never complained or the least bit un-comfortable. In fact, she would lay on the old plastic bench seat and play with you with her feet. Snuggled up so close and your arm around her for hours. When she needed to cool off, she would hang out the open window and let the wind blow through her thin blouse. Lord, forgive me I can still see the image of her with the wind blowing against her beautiful body and the sun shining through that thin white blouse.
When you got to the vista point at the end of the tunnel you stopped and went to the guardrail to take in the view of the Yosemite Valley. Half dome straight ahead and El Capitan to the left, it is breath taking. She stood there motionless for a long time taking in this magnificent works of God and tears began to roll down her face.
Our first stop after that was Bridal veil falls. You parked the camper and walked to the viewing area. It was springtime and the mist from the falls drenched both of you. She began to cry for no reason at all again. You thought it was people could see she was not wearing a bra and her beautiful breast were clinging to thin white blouse. You asked her why she was crying, she said she was so happy being there in that place with you.
You took Lee up the trail to the top of Vernal Falls. It was a good 3-mile hike up from the trail-head to a pool of water just at the top of the fall. When we got there, Lee took off her top and hiking shorts jumped into the cool pool of water. There were several others on the riverbank and in the pool. When she came out of the water, she looked like a James Bond movie star. Okay, she still had on a bra and panties but Haley Berry had on a bikini.
You had dinner that first night at Yosemite Hotel down in the valley. The next few days you spent back up in the high country of the park. You had been to Yosemite several times before both backpacking and camping. You parked in a different little hideaway at the end of several dirt roads each night. Your dad’s old truck so you did not mind the scratches from the brush or rocks.
Open the camper door to different little mini falls and creeks so many fantastic views each day. Things were pretty intense between us. It was getting hard to tell the difference between being lovers and falling in love for real. Being there with Lee was such a pleasant time for you.
Not just the fact that she was so fantastically beautiful but she was really enjoying the very same things you had such affection for. Yosemite will always be your most favorite place in this whole world and Lee was loving it just as much as you.
To sit in those peaceful quiet places with such a sweet lover was so great to remember. I don’t remember any specific place or conversation but I do remember there were several places holding hands and just listing to nature. To look at such glory in God’s creation and in the midst of all that beauty, God’s most beautiful creation of all, was Lee.
You stopped to pray next to the chapel back in Yosemite Valley. Both of you cried after praying. Without speaking a word to each other we knew our prayers were not the same. It was as close to heaven as I will ever be in this world. You had been there and prayed many different prayers and many different times before. I know of no prayers He has not answered to you from this holy place. This is where you wish your ashes to be placed after God has taken you home.
Yosemite changed your relationship with Lee to a spiritual level and you both knew it. You were sure she was coming to a different level same as you. It was in Yosemite that you were ever truly at peace with your playmate. Both of you were at peace with God in Yosemite. You played together like you were kids laughing all night touching each other. Wake up together to the natural beauty of Yosemite all around you.
Hiking the trails of Yosemite high country is an experience all its own. Only those who have done it can understand the experience this was to do this with Lee. Hard to choose witch part of sleeping with Lee was the best. The going to bed or the getting out of bed in the morning with this angel. Holding hands next to the river or falling asleep kissing her lips.
Juan Creek Beach
You thought nothing could possibly top the experience of camping in Yosemite. After Yosemite you took her camping on a secluded beach north of town. You had been working for PG&E for several years, plus you had lived here all your life until your first marriage. You knew of a locked gate just south of Juan Creek that led to a tiny campsite next to the beach. You un-locked the gate with your PG&E passkey and backed the camper down the tiny dirt brush covered road. A level spot just big enough for your camper right at the edge of the sand on the beach.
You had seen that secluded beach when patrolling the power lines for PG&E. You also knew if anyone would park at the highway turnout above and walk a short distance to look over the bluff at the ocean and beach below, they would be looking at us like a Playboy photographer doing a photo shoot with the Playmate of the Year. That would be the last thing you would ever tell Lee. In fact, you lied to her and said, no one can see you on the beach.
Now it was getting closer to the date you were supposed to deliver her to the airport. Lee was pulling out all the stops now to convince you to marry her. She willing to do just about anything so you sweet talked her into posing nude for you on the beach.
You promised to give her all the film so she alone would ever see them. You also promised that her grandchildren will love to see how beautiful their Lola was when she was young. You just happened to have some rolls of Kodachrome for your 35mm camera. Back in the car was your Norman Studio kit and light reflectors.
First session was at sunset that first night. You had taken a number of nude silhouette sunset photos before. All previous shootings were extremely stressful and very demanding. Taking pleasing photos of girls was always easy and natural for you. Photographing nude girls is a whole different experience. The worry about camera angel and position to hide or reduce flaws and imperfections of their bodies is much harder without clothes.
No such thing with Lee. There was no imperfections to hide. She was shy and sat perfectly still as she let you position and re-position her over and over. You shot 36 exposures of Kodachrome that sunset with the most magnificent female body in front of the most beautiful sunset in your life. In your old age you should be reminded how wonderful that photo session made you feel. Kodachrome was very un-forgiving for exposure. Sunset silhouettes are very hard to get the exposure just right. I can only hope you bracketed the f-stops enough to capture the soft warm sunset colors behind the silhouette of a perfect female figure.
Second session was mid-day the next day. I had my white umbrella strobe lights and stands all set up on the beach to fill the shadows of the mid-day sun. You also needed the bright sun to light up the blue ocean and sky in the background.
Then Lee hands you her bath robe and steps into the screen. You thought the sunset silhouettes blew your mind.
Lee was way more relaxed this time. So much more she began to make love to your camera. They were way more intimate and romantic than you thought this shy little goddess could give you. If her grandchildren ever get to look these pictures of grandma they would not have to ask if she was having sex with the photographer. There was that much sensuality in every shot. She must have figured out you would be asking her to pose for you. She must have done some reading or something. Whatever, she was posing without direction from you, from one great pose to the next. The sweet look in her eyes and long dark hair flowing in the sea breeze.
Lee became so comfortable with you the more she was natural and innocent looks she gave to you. One classic pose after the other to show off such a perfect body. Everyone was sensual and pleasant expressions. Then she started to laugh about something and gave you a lot of happy having fun kind of shots.
It was not all happing on the beach. What was going on in the camper was pretty special to. Not just the sex and sleeping together it was the laughing and playing around in the camper. You danced to every Fleetwood Mac and Eagles song you had on the boombox. The slow dancing on that tiny camper floor with Lee barley dressed cuddled next to you. She had learned how to slink around you like a viper sending shock up and down your spine. Lee had turned into a real vixen at Juan Creek Beach.
I still have the image of her cooking food at that camper stove for you to remember. She is standing in front of the open camper door with the waves crashing on the beach outside just behind her. We were so close to the waves crashing on the beach we had to raise the volume on the music. She is wearing a thin white robe with the sunlight showing off her female body underneath. Lee cooked you some great Filipino food for you in that little camper.
Writing about this brings back memories of some great times sharing meals with my little playmate. Always so cheerful and happy and so nice to be around. She was always telling me Filipino jokes and pulling tricks on me. Waking up in the morning with this angel, looking out the camper window at that secluded private California beach.
There is no other way to explain it, you were both just falling so deep in love with each other. You enjoyed looking into each other eyes and really talking to each other. You spent every opportunity to softly touch her soft smooth skin and listen to her breath. Then your final night at the beach came around way too soon. It was time to tell her one last time that you had made your decision not to marry her.
That was a night to remember. Making love and crying most of the night. In the morning you had your last photo session with her on the beach. It was cold and foggy and her mood was very solemn and thoughtful. It went well with the soft gray even natural light of the fog. Not so many smiles this morning, mostly gentle eyes staring into the distance. They were no nude poses this day but lots of soft smooth skin and so very pleasant amount of cleavage to show off those beautiful breasts. You had to cover her nipple a couple of times to keep the photos in line with our goal. The goose bumps from the cold wind added just the right touch on her soft Asian skin.
That very private week on that secluded beach with your Playmate of your dreams will be the highlight of my passion for photography. Think about all the pictures you took of so many drop-dead gorgeous girls and the thousands of other things you love to photograph. Nothing ever came close to the feeling you enjoyed that week with your Playboy model on the beach and in your bed. You always dreamed of being a playboy or Sports Illustrated swimsuit photographer. For you this was a boyhood fantasy dream come true.
You knew it was hard for to keep from getting emotional and start crying all over again. I hope I was able to catch all that emotion in those sensual last photos. Tomorrow we will be breaking camp and will be taking you to the airport to go home.
One last night at my parent’s house to wash clothes and pack for her trip back home. My heart was breaking inside but you were afraid to let it show. Lee made it very clear that her heart was breaking also. All the plans and all the big talk but nobody planned to fall in love like we did. Just the time I needed God’s help her mother provided just what I needed to be strong enough to put your love aside and go through with it.
One last phone call to the Philippines to find out things were getting much better back home. Lee talked a very long and emotional time talking to her mom. She let you talk to her so she could thank you for being so nice to her daughter. She said she was missing Lee so much and was really looking forward to her coming home. She slipped up and mentioned that her boyfriend stopped by and could not wait to hold her in his arms again.
Lee confessed that she was in turmoil inside about him. That phone call from mom was the final confirmation for me. No matter how much it hurt, no matter the tears it was going to cause, it was the right thing to do. Lee deserved so much better that this old country boy. She deserved the good life waiting for her back home, no matter how it broke her heart to say good-bye to you.
The most fantastic month of my life was coming to a sad ending. It was time to take Lee to the airport. You had planned now for several days to stop at Hendy Wood State Park on the way to the airport. It had been a very emotional and sad drive from home to your most favorite stand of old growth redwood trees. During your darkest times you had prayed in that holy cathedral under that canopy of the tallest trees on earth.
You walked from the car gently holding her tiny hand as you entered this holy place. Walking out of the bright sun light into that dim streams of light coming thru the trees. The awesome strength you feel looking at those giant redwood trees massive trunks all around you, reaching up to the sky. The green ferns and redwood bark covered ground it is such a quiet surreal environment. I always think of this as God’s Holy cathedral in the redwoods just for you. You took her to a place you had been before next to the tallest tree in the grove.
Just like in Yosemite the spirit of God came over both of you. You both opened your heart out to God and prayed out loud just like the three of you were all sitting there together. Lee thanked God in front of you for the wonderful time and the lover He gave her to bring her back home safe. You thanked God for the love you could feel from Lee and prayed He would give her comfort and peace as you must part.
A great peace fell over both of you and then you put your arms around her and you both cried for a very long time still on your knees. All these years later now, I see God is still answering our prayers that somehow you would always be together.
You got a motel room at the Oakland airport for her to catch her early morning flight back home to the Philippines. You met the man from the foreign bride agency and gave him the money Lee had given you to cover our agreement. You went back to the cold dark motel room to spend your last night together.
Now I know why you had forgot all about Lee until you wrote that stupid letter to your daughter. The sadness and guilt of that night haunted you for years after. Your memory of Lee was clouded with regret for that last night. Lee was begging you not to leave her and it was breaking your heart. This goddess was begging you to make love to her and marry her and you left her crying as you closed the door in the morning.
Your memory of those real bad times were hidden way back in your mind way before the dementia began. All you remembered about Lee was seeing her crying in that cold dark Oakland airport motel room.
Life Goes On
Writing this story has been a remarkable experience for you. After reading one draft after the other you realize just how wrong you had been all these years. Lee was not that crying little lady for very long. She came through some very hard times and always landed on her feet. Lee was as strong and intelligent as she was beautiful. There was way more to Lee than her sexy body and angel face.
The way she told you stories and her quick-witted jokes she could melt the heart of any man. There can be no question she did marry that high society boyfriend back home. Probably ran for public office with her warm and open personality she would be very popular. She had the body and the face to be a professional model or even a movie star. I swear you seen a move star on Filipino TV that had eyes just like Lee. Scary thing is that would be just about the age of Lee’s daughter.
Lee would never tell the story about her fling in California with anyone. Knowing her she would confess it only to her priest asking for God’s forgiveness. Just stop and think about it from her perspective. How many good Filipino Catholic women can say they had such a wonderful 4 weeks in California. More than seeing all the best parts of California from the ocean to the high Sierra mountains. More that all the California tourist thing. Lee got to experience all of that while falling and being in love.
You had a relationship that is hard to explain without a spiritual explanation. You had both bared your inner souls to each other and experienced each other bodies like never before. We both knew from Yosemite that God was blessing our relationship. Wrong as it was in so many ways. We both knew from the beginning there was only a short time together.
Truth, is you treated her like an angle sent from God for a purpose. Lee responded by respecting you and treating you like no other woman. Not to mention her being treated like a 12-year-old princess at Disneyland. We both had a fantastic dream experience with each other. Only a holy embrace in heaven could top the joy you had with Lee that month.
How many of her friends ever hiked the high county trails in Yosemite or dipped into the head water of Vernal Falls. Not to even think about that fantastic week camping on a private secluded beach in California. Being treated like a Playboy model and getting to actually live that part for a whole week.
Experience that spiritual holy place in the redwoods. All her girlfriends would be so jealous if they only knew what happened that month in California. I am sure she would never confess she was so deeply in love with you but it was that love that made her time with you so special. Things done in true love covers a lot of sin, and we were in love for a month. Years later now you feel not only the forgiveness from God that you asked for in the Redwoods but you can feel Lee’s forgiveness for leaving her crying that night. Certainly, God had much better plans for His precious little flower than being your play thing. For a month, Lee was the most exciting wild and sexy woman that every woman dreams to have ever been. So young, so beautiful and sexy and so much in love.
From your perspective, except for having to say good-bye, it was the most fantastic month of your entire life. As a young boy all you ever thought about was girls. You remember your dad took you to work down at the sawmill’s rail shipping department. You stood there looking at all the pictures of naked women for the first time on the bull room wall. Remember that funny sexual feeling as you looked at those pictures. You got to experience that same feeling for a whole month with Lee. Not simply the visual sexual excitement but to actually touch and feel her perfect little body.
Put all that together and it still did not match the feeling that this goddess was actually in love with you. Yes, it was her passion and her warm touch that you remember the most. Rich people could probably afford to pay for a Playmate for a month but they could never experience what you experienced. Your playmate was in love with you and you were in love with her and that makes all the difference in the world.
Now when you think of Lee, think just how sweet she really was and what a pleasant memory to have. You gave her that 4 rolls of Kodachrome you took at the Juan Creek Beach. I hope she had them processed and they all came out as well in real life as they did in my memory. Your spirit would cry for joy if she ever showed them to her granddaughter like you had planned.
After all of that it is hard to believe that this whole love affair was completely gone from your memory. Writing it down for your caregiver to read it all back to you, will let you be reminded and enjoy it over and over again.