Crazy Fantasies About My Hair Dresser

by Matt Triewly

Sitting on the sofa as I write with the lap top on my legs. It's Saturday morning and neither of us have to work today - we intend to take it easy. The missus is still in bed and I'm still in my dressing gown. I've got a coffee to the left of me - I made the missus one too - and I feel pretty relaxed, satiated, if that's the right word. I'm also probing between my teeth with my tongue as I've just consumed a bacon and mushroom (what is it with me and mushrooms?) sandwich (white bread) with brown sauce and got a couple of very small bits of bacon (thick back bacon) stuck in the gaps between my molars. Actually I feel the need to add that the missus had her sandwich sans sauce and mushrooms. Anyway, I need to tell you (brag) about yesterday as it was a good day.

So yesterday morning I got up at six thirty with yet another odd dream still running through my head. In the dream I was cycling along a sea wall and to the right of me was a kind of steel pole barrier. As I cycled along I drew up behind a woman who was almost blocking the path by walking all over the place - she was maybe drunk or something. Anyway, I wasn't that bothered about her as all I wanted to do was get past her. As I got right up behind her I decided to overtake her on the right. Just as I did the barrier slipped away without warning and I nearly went over the edge and landed on the seaweed strewn boulders below. Fortunately I had braked in time but it gave me a bit of shock - I would have seriously done myself some damage if I'd fallen on the rocks. I then said to the woman: "Bloody hell that was close, what happened there?" She just looked me and at this point I saw that she was wearing one of those things that look like lampshades around her neck which dogs sometimes have to wear to stop them biting or licking themselves. I concluded quite quickly that she wasn't the 'full ticket' and decided to carry on regardless. I then heard a roaring and turned my head seaward to see a massive wave coming my way. I was also transfixed by the colour of the sea too - it was a mesmerising shade of green. I decided that I would take a photo of the wave before it got too close so I brought the bike to a halt dismounted, laid it on the path and took out my phone from my pocket. Also because I became suddenly hot I removed my coat and lay that on the ground too. It was at that point the wave hit me and I realised how stupid I'd been. The water pushed me along the ground and I could see my phone, bike and coat covered in water. I cursed. I then looked up and could see the woman with the 'lampshade' being swept out to sea. There was also another guy with a beard swimming back to shore. I wasn't certain whether he would make it and I wondered, being a strong swimmer myself whether I should dive in and help him. At this point I had woken.

So that was the dream. I then got up and had my breakfast (a mushroom omelette), showered, dressed and drove off to work for my first job of the day.

After I'd completed my duty at about half nine I drove to the swimming pool and did a fair few lengths. I hasten to add that there were no large waves (unless you include the one I generated when I got in) and nobody getting swept away. I really enjoyed my swim and felt invigorated.

When I got back home the missus was feeling sorry for herself as she was still suffering from the after effects of a cold and had also started her period. As she couldn't go out I nipped down to the shops to get some groceries - more mushrooms included.

As I walked past the barbers I thought it may be a good idea to get my hair (what's left of it!) cut. I pushed open the door followed closely behind by the woman who owns it - nice lady. Once sat in the chair she started chatting about her life and how she was looking for a fella - she was single with three kids - and about how difficult it was to find the right person. I assured her that she would meet someone when the time was right because I was a great believer in fate that things will happen when the time is right. I know that's probably bullshit but I wanted to make her feel better about things. She responded by saying that because she was in her mid-thirties she didn't want to waste any more time as she was at her... 'peak'. She then confessed that she was using dating sites to look for someone but so far it had been a waste of time - either she wasn't interested or they weren't. It then struck me that maybe she fancied... yours truly. Or was I deluding myself since I was about twenty years older than her and I ain't exactly Brad Pitt or Tom Hardy. Anyway, I didn't do anything stupid but all of a sudden I had this vision of her locking the doors and pulling down the blind with me being forced into the barber's chair and her throwing all her clothes off before leaping on top of me...

When I got home with the shopping the missus was still ailing, still feeling sorry for herself. I on the other hand feeling energised after the swim and also a bit horny decided that I was going to shag her. Period or not.

I persuaded her that she needed a lie down so we went into the bedroom and lay together on the bed. I then went to work on her: kissing her neck, rubbing her tits, smacking her bum and massaging her between the legs all through her clothes.

She was having none of it. "I'm not interested, but I'll rub your nipples if you want to wank," she said resolutely.

But I carried on and after a bit she relented. "Oh, alright then. But you can clean the mess up on the sheets after."

"Okay," I said. But I had no intention of cleaning the sheets after.

She then went to the bathroom and came back naked. I also stripped.

I gave her a bit more rough treatment: scratching, smacking and tickling and then pulled her over onto her back. I then held her down whilst I frigged her to orgasm whilst recounting a fantasy of her having to be spanked live on the internet with a succession of implements. Suffice to say she only took a few minutes to climax strongly.

I then mounted her and with her rubbing my nipples I soon came too.

Cuddled together we both soon fell asleep.

When we awoke it was nearly time for me to go to my second job. I asked her if she enjoyed being fucked on her period and she reckoned it was better than normal. She wants to do it again. I mentioned to her that me and my ex always used to fuck on her period. In fact I have to admit I found it kind of aroused me more.

I then left for work feeling extremely relaxed and cheery.

Incidentally there was no mess on the sheets.

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