Do You Want to See Your Inner Person?

by Matt Triewly

Fucking dreams. Yeah, last night I had this dream in which I was guided into this room which looked a bit like my mother's old bedroom. In the corner was a dressing table. It was made out of a fancy kind of wood and had three mirrors on it. There was a large fixed one in the centre and two smaller outside ones that were hinged. Anyway, this 'voice' asked me if I wanted to see my inner person. Curious (who wouldn't be) I said yes. The voice then told me to peer into each mirror in turn and that I would see my inner person. I started with the mirror to the left. It just showed me. I also remembered at this point writing once a while back: There are two things you can't see in a mirror - one is your soul and the other is the glass. Probably pretty useless facts if truth be known. I then moved along and looked at the reflection in the large mirror. Again it was just me gazing back at myself. Beginning to think that it was all bullshit what the voice had said I glanced into the last mirror - and saw the face of a woman staring back at me. It wasn't the face I was expecting to see. The woman who was there had short grey-brown hair swept back in a kind of a spiky style. Her features were strong looking but not as big as mine and she appeared self-assured and confident. She was good looking but not beautiful or even pretty - attractive enough. She was wearing a white sleeveless top and I could see that the skin of her upper arms was pale yet quite smooth and flawless. After a bit I could kind of see that we could be related. I then wondered if she was some sort of alternative me who had developed as a female rather than a male. It did strike me that perhaps my life would have been better if I'd been a female. Maybe I would have been more at ease with myself and possibly had a more fulfilled life. I then speculated about her sexuality - was she a masochist or a lesbian? Both?

At this point she began to change, started to become younger in a series of changes. Finally she was a young girl of about ten with long dark blonde hair and a thinner face. Her expression was one of being a little anxious, not quite comfortable. I was quite intrigued about this alternative me and I wanted to ask questions but it was not to be as I suddenly felt this sharp pain in my right calf... and woke up with a bout of cramp.

Anyway, I've been thinking about this dream all day...

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