Bored With Gum

by Meghan Caldwell

June 16th, 2006 8:57pm

I currently am chewing a piece of Wrigley's gum. It's spearmint. I like peppermint and whatever as much as the next girl, but spearmint is definitely the superior flavor, in both gum and in mint-flavored candy.

I've been chewing this piece of gum for about twenty minutes now. It's starting to get a little bit hard, since I've been chewing it for so long now. It's about at that point where it isn't yet a strain to chew, but it has a pleasant firmness to it. When it gets too hard, it starts to tire out your jaw, and that's just not where you want to be with your gum, especially if you had planned to continue chewing.

I like to roll my gum up into a little ball with my tongue. It's fun to flatten out all the little nicks and imperfections and feel how smooth it is against the inside of your cheek. I also like to flatten my gum against the roof of my mouth, and then let it fall off and feel the texture of my palate with my tongue. Sometimes, if I'm really having fun with my gum, I'll bite it into two equal pieces, or as close to equal as I can get, and chew using both sides of my mouth at once.

It's a shame you can't blow decent bubbles with Wrigley's gum. It stretches a little bit, but it gets really thin really fast. That, and it gets really sticky when you expose it to the air. The thin stuff gets stuck on your lips awful easy when the quasi-bubble pops, too, so it's not much worth trying to blow bubbles with this kind of gum if it's not going to cooperate anyway.

I only have one stick left. It's still in the original package. Well, only half of it, 'cause when I opened the pack, I tore off the end and threw it away... I mean, the sticks of gum are individually wrapped, it's not like I really needed that other end of the packaging to keep them fresh or anything... but now, and I can't read all the ingredients. Here's what I have left:

Made in the U.S.A. Wm. Wrigley Jr. Con

FOR NUTRITION FACTS INFORMATIO

CALL 1(800) WRIGLEY (1-800-974-45

corn syrup, dextrose, natural and artif

softeners (soy), acesulfame K, BHT (to

it doesn't seem like there's much missing there. Just enough to keep me guessing, y'know? Like... what comes after that bht? And do I really have that number right?

Well, my gum is finally getting to the point where the flavor is almost gone. But it still has enough left where if I hold it under my tongue in the same spot for about fifteen seconds, it starts to burn a little bit. I've always kind of wondered why it does that... I mean, some gum doesn't, like juicy fruit, but Wrigley's always does. Maybe it's the mint. Or maybe it's the ingredient that comes after bht on the list... "Mystery ingredient x," I think I'll call it. I hope it's non-toxic.

Well, anyway, the gum has just about lost its flavor, so I think I'll go spit it out now. I should probably get some sleep anyway, and I've always heard stories about people who fall asleep with gum in their mouths waking up with it stuck in their hair. So now that my gum's on its last legs, I can lie down for a bit.

Besides, there's still that one stick. I'll save it for the morning.

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