GHOST RIDER.

a story by;

Danny Perez.

.( I get on my chopper riding down the highway with the wind flowing pass me. Not heading for any certain destination I ride threw town to town with no particular place to go. Every new place I go to I never get hassled. People don't stare at me. Theres no uneasy tension what so ever why do I get to proceed with un abandon permission. Theres a secret to it and I will tell you just not yet.

I walk bye a man who is known to be racist yet when I walk pass him I don't get the look of hate he doesnt tell me that I don't belong here. No whispers of I cant stand his kind. No abrasive actions of if you don't get out of here I'm going to punch your face in. In fact as I walk pass him he doesnt pay attention to me he doesnt look over he acts like I'm not even there. Why am I allowed to pass with no consequences because to him I'm already dead. I go into a bar I get myself a drink next to me sits a woman who I will kindly say likes men with deep pockets. But she is not striking a conversation, shes not using her charm, she doesnt use her power of persuasion, she doesnt bat her eyes, curl her lips, or give a seductive smile. Shes not trying to intoxicate me with her spell in fact she leaves me alone she doesnt even look my way she keeps quiet and to herself. She acts like the stool next to her is empty. Its like I don't exist. Why do I not get caught up in her web of seduction because to her I'm already dead.

I walk in the middle of the street threw one neighborhood that is claimed bye a gang yet as I walk bye the corner there hanging out in they say nothing I walk threw the neighborhood with no armor on my chest and no weapon in my hand I walk threw without ever taking a look behind me. Not worrying once about my life. The members don't hit me up and ask me where I'm from. They don't surround me to jump me and take my stuff. None of the members pull out a gun on me in fact as I walk bye them they don't take a look, I don't pick up there attention, they act like I'm not there. Why am I allowed to walk bye with no retaliatory actions because to them I'm already dead. I walk bye a woman who again I don't want to be rude but she is known to think shes better than anyone else. I walk pass her I don't get her judgmental response she doesnt say

are you the help, I don't get her stereotype actions she doesnt give me a repulsive look of how dare you be in the same social function as me, I don't get her naive ideas of your kind are nothing but criminals who cause trouble who drop out of highschool the only job your kind can get is working at Mcdonalds. In fact as I walk pass her she doesnt blink twice, as I walk pass her she doesnt give me a mannerism reply, as I walk pass her she looks threw me like she cant see me. Why can I pass bye without the wrath of her judgement because to her I'm already dead. I walk pass a man whos attitude is I cant stand people who are doing better than me in life. I walk passed him he doesnt get angry of what I have on, he doesnt get upset that I have a nicer watch than he does, he doesnt get jealous as I walk to my chopper. In fact as I walk bye he doesnt take a glance, he doesnt notice me, as I walk bye I get no reaction because to him I'm already dead.

As I ride along I cant help to have things race threw my head. I wonder why the loves of my life cant see my pain, why don't the ladies who took my heart cant see that they forgot to put my heart back, I wonder why they cant see the tears that are running down my face, I wonder why they cant see my devastation, I wonder why they cant hear my sadness, why cant they see that my heart is broken and it cant ever be fixed, why cant they see that my life hasnt been the same since, why cant they see that I still love them, they cant see a ghost. I wonder why those who say words of hate cant see my hurt, I wonder why cant they see there shattering my self esteam every time they say degortary to me, I wonder why they cant see there destroying my dreams when they tell me that I will never amount to anything, I wonder why they cant see there killing my pride when they say I'm less than everybody else, why cant they see these words cause hurt, why cant they see there ideas cause pain, why cant they see there hurtful words cause me to cry, they cant see a ghost.

I wonder why those who cant see whats beyond the appearance, I wonder why they cant see me write something creative as Homer did, I wonder why they cant see me write something intelligent like Shakespeare did, I wonder why they cant see me paint something beautiful as Van Gogh, Monet, Picasso, did, why cant they see me write something poetic like Pinero, Poe did, why cant they see me create a classic like Tarantino, Lynch, Gary Gray, did, why cant they see me being a leader like J.F.K, Luther King jr, Cesar Chavez were, why cant they see pass what they think they know, they cant see a ghost. I wonder why they cant see my sadness every time I see them hate those who are doing good, I wonder why they cant see my depression every time I see them hurting each other bye using there fists, I wonder why they cant see my worrying nature every time I see there disregard for human nature, why cant they see there ripping my heart out every time I see them ripping the dignity off my brother or sister, why cant they see my anger when I see them treat others like there less than human, why cant they see that I'm upset when I cant see there compassion, why cant they see what there doing to me because they cant see me. When I'm riding my chopper thats the only time I actually feel like I'm alive the roaring of the engine the wind pushing me like I'm a kite. The moon being my only companion in the dark, the sounds of nature the only ones saying hello to me. I'm truly seen only when I'm alone.

As I continue with my ride I wonder if they could see me would it change matters or would they like what they see, if they could see what there doing to me would they try there worse, if they could see my heart ripped out would they step on it, if they could see my hurt would that excite them more, if they could see my pain would they create more of it, if they could see my tears would they make me cry more just for there enjoyment. I wonder if they could see me what would they do. They don't know that every time they devastate me bye telling me they no longer love me or bye finding them in the arms of another man also when they do things that hurt my feelings they don't know bye doing those things that there killing me little bye little, they don't know there destroying me bye telling me I'm a nobody. Them thinking I'm an uneducated drop out or them seeing my greatness goes as far as manager for taco bell. They don't know bye thinking those things that there killing me little bye little. They don't know that there hurting me bye hating my skin color, hating my culture, treating my kind like were insects, hating me without even knowing me. They don't know bye hating me so much that there killing me little bye little, they don't know that I'm dying bye every time they show me hate, bye every time they show me judgement, bye every time they show me animosity, bye every time They show me no love. They don't know that there actions are killing me little bye little. They don't know there killing me bye every time I hear someone say something negative, bye every time I see someone hurting someone, bye every time I hear someones sadness, bye every time I see the tears coming down from the face of a person, bye every time I feel the hurt of a persons heart, bye every time I feel the pain of a persons soul. They don't know that there so called human nature is killing me little bye little.

Then again I don't think they care because to them I'm already dead. I might be so transparent that the only ones who can see me are my Father and everyone in heaven. Maybe I'm so transparent to the world because I don't own millions and millions of dollars. I don't own a company that earns hundreds of millions of dollars. I don't drive around in hundred thousand dollar cars. I don't wear clothes and jewelry that cost more than a middle class home. I'm not on a program that showcases all my material worth. I don't have any of these things but if I tried to can I no longer be transparent. Maybe I'm so transparent to the world because I don't have people following me around taking pictures of me or video taping me. Because I'm not being interviewed bye t.v. Talk shows. Because I'm not on the cover of gossip magazines, because I'm not at the hottest places and parties, because I'm not on t.v., because I don't have that celebrity status. Maybe because I don't have any of those things but if I tried can I no longer be transparent. Maybe I'm so transparent to the world because I'm not selfish enough. I have to think about my own needs and wants first. I have to care only about my feelings and not care about anyone elses. I have to only think about getting money not caring if another person cant make it there not my concern. I have to have the attitude of taking it from you and giving it to me. I'm not selfish enough but if I tried to be can I no longer be transparent. Maybe I'm so transparent to the world because I'm not filled with hate.

What if I hated a person just for the skin there in, what if I hated someone so much that I wanted to wish them death, what if my hate caused a fight with someone, what if my hate caused someone to cry then can I no longer be transparent. Maybe I'm so transparent to the world because I'm just me a regular person who just wants to live his life. Do the right thing have nothing but love for everyone wish everyone nothing but the best don't want to bring any attention to himself. Thinking the things he does are no big deal just a part of his everyday life. Not caring if the world doesnt see him as important his happy because his important to the people who are important to him. His just a regular joe and his very proud of it. His so regular that his transparent.

I think about how can people keep telling me negative things is it because I'm already dead and I don't know it, I think about how can people can continue to hate me is it because I'm already dead and I don't know it yet, I think about how can they continue to bring pain to me is it because I'm already dead and I don't know it, I wonder how can they continue to break my heart is it because I'm already dead and I don't know it yet, I wonder how can they continue to bring me sadness is it because I'm already dead and I don't know it, I wonder how can they continue to make me cry is it because I'm already dead and I don't know it yet. Is there a reason why they always want to see me depressed is it because I'm already dead and I don't know it, is there a reason why they have so much animosity towards me is it because I'm already dead and I don't know it yet, is there a reason why they continue to treat me the way they do is it that I'm already dead and there kicking dirt on top of my grave. There has to be a reason. I continue to ride wondering if I will ever be seen but if I am seen will it be at the cost of my soul. If thats what it takes to be seen then I rather be unseen. I continue to ride until the day I'm no longer a ghost).

THE END