Sometimes, I feel like the 4th wheel on a 3-wheeled deal,
like the useless 3rd arm of a dude stepping on a banana peel,
like no one can make heads or tales out of the nonsense I spew.
Sometimes, I feel like a red monkey in a blue zoo,
like a tick on the ass of a stray dog leaving town,
like I'm strapped to a rocket about to nose over, and head straight down.
Sometimes, I feel like unleaded gas at a leaded gas rodeo,
like the sweater from Aunt Gladys, that you try on, and "whoa!",
she must have forgotten that you're of a normal size,
not the 8ft. tall brother of some truly giant guy.
Sometimes I feel like the weird relation at a surprise party,
who tells unfunny jokes and belly laughs too damn hardy.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm a chef trying to make chicken salad from chicken shit.
See, stolen from 'Airplane!'--maybe I'd be smart to just quit
while I'm behind, trying to think of these 'like' sayings.
they sound like an unfunny, desperate, donkey's brayings!