4th Wheel on a 3-wheeled Deal!

by Mike Stevens

Sometimes, I feel like the 4th wheel on a 3-wheeled deal,

like the useless 3rd arm of a dude stepping on a banana peel,

like no one can make heads or tales out of the nonsense I spew.

Sometimes, I feel like a red monkey in a blue zoo,

like a tick on the ass of a stray dog leaving town,

like I'm strapped to a rocket about to nose over, and head straight down.

Sometimes, I feel like unleaded gas at a leaded gas rodeo,

like the sweater from Aunt Gladys, that you try on, and "whoa!",

she must have forgotten that you're of a normal size,

not the 8ft. tall brother of some truly giant guy.

Sometimes I feel like the weird relation at a surprise party,

who tells unfunny jokes and belly laughs too damn hardy.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm a chef trying to make chicken salad from chicken shit.

See, stolen from 'Airplane!'--maybe I'd be smart to just quit

while I'm behind, trying to think of these 'like' sayings.

they sound like an unfunny, desperate, donkey's brayings!

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