Nancy Bergerson


Bio

I have a recent degree in mass communications and have been writing short stories off and on for the last 12 years or so. As school consumed much of my time as I completed my degree (in addition to full-time employment), my writing has taken a dip over the past several years, but I hope to begin turning out some stories again. I have lived most of the last 23 years in Maine, but have either traveled through or lived in most states west of the Mississippi.

Joined
August 2012

Stories
4

Comments
5

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0

Last Active
July 2013

Reputation
890

Commented
8

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Nancy Bergerson's reviews

  • I have toyed with the idea of a screenplay for about 8 years with my son, but it keeps being put on the back burner. That is one reason I began practicing dialogue. In a screenplay, action and dialogue have to tell the story. I find some story writers tend to belabor their character's story on an abstract emotional level. In life, the stories we witness come to us primarily through observation and action. For example does a stranger have to tell you they are excited or elated, or does one see that in their facial expressions, their movements and their interactions with others?
    You've done an excellent job illustrating your characters' states of mind through action and observation in additional to their internal dialogue.
    One of my favorite writers is Joe Lansdale...very visual in his writing, great dialogue, and a crazy, crazy man. One book, High Cotton, contains a story "Steppin' Out Summer '68" which is one of my favorites. It's worth a read if you can get your hands on the book.

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  • Another good story. You do a great job fleshing out the character very concisely through his musings while drawing the reader into wanting to know more. If you wanted, this could be worked into a much larger story very successfully.

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  • Your imagery is great. Bringing in sound and smells helps draw your reader into the story, as well as the visual details. It's a special talent. What is your primary language?

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  • Very good! Just the right combination of self-dialogue and action speaking for Des' state of mind as his decision is made.

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  • Very visual writing – In my mind, I can see the gypsy’s facial expression and the fair. Also, you gave a great description of the encounter with the great cat. There are a couple of minor punctuation errors, but nothing that detracts from the writing. I like that the story tracks a period of time without forcing events to a pre-determined ending. It flows naturally and lends itself to oral storytelling. Good job!

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  • I'd like to know more about why the old woman took the children and the reason she stores the locks of hair. It would be interesting to see the story from the little girl's point of view...being taken by the old woman...what are her thoughts when she "punishes" other creatures...what are her thoughts when she is left in the woods. Just a thought for a different perspective. Also, the setting intially sounds to me as though the story takes place in medieval times, but mentions the bathroom and polaroid photos, which would place it within the 20th century. I don't know if this could be blended more. Good descriptive writing and a good idea for a story. I enjoyed reading it.

    Not rated