Shadow Night


Bio

I also love being a poet. Here's where i write poetry. https://allpoetry.com/Shadow_Night

Joined
April 2018

Stories
5

Comments
5

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0

Last Active
April 2019

Reputation
1650

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Shadow Night's received comments

  • There was a nice little twist that made the story a little interesting. A few wording and grammatical errors need fixing, otherwise it was a nice little piece to read.

  • This piece would have potential if writer went back to fix some grammatical errors and misspelling. Characters are likeable but their dialogue is hard to read with improper indents. The plot has little surprises since used one too many times before, with no effort to personalize.

  • Real life first is rarely a mistake. When the time, for writing more & better, comes, we usually know, or feel, it. Can't say I enjoyed those unpaid nights of correcting old mistakes, but my newer works, the ones in sale, look less moronic by now.

  • From Water lilly on On Cold Dead Wings

    Thank you, I'll keep that in mind when i write again!

    Not rated
  • It reminds of the Final Destination movie series. Some more focus on comma placement might increase readability. But, when it was for class, the chores are over, I guess. I cannot help much, but I would make it 'On cold, dead wings...' and apply:


    *Use commas to separate independent clauses, when they are joined by any of these seven coordinating conjunctions: and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet.

    *Common starter words for introductory clauses that should be followed by a comma include after, although, as, because, if, since, when, while.

    *Use a pair of commas in the middle of a sentence to set off clauses, phrases, and words that are not essential to the meaning of the sentence. Use one comma before to indicate the beginning of the pause and one at the end to indicate the end of the pause.