Carol Barnett


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Joined
December 2015

Stories
2

Comments
4

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0

Last Active
December 2015

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440

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Carol Barnett's received comments

  • From Drew Hurdle on Stay With Me

    Very interesting piece. Very provocative. Makes you wonder what sort of woman she was and what sort of situation she was in. Very intriguing. Well written, in an almost stream of consciousness style. Good job.

    Not rated
  • From Carol Barnett on Stay With Me

    Thanks Gill and Cleveland for your feedback on my story "Stay With Me" Appreciate your taking the time to read my work. I'm very new at this as I'm sure you can tell. I have just submitted a new work called "The Fat, sick and crazy" If it is approved would love some feedback. Thanks again
    Carol

    Not rated
  • From Cleveland W. Gibson on Stay With Me

    Hi Carol
    You've started a very intriguing little story here. I say 'little' meaning it is quite short.
    However, I'd like you to think about how you've kept me the reader guessing. Tongue in cheek stuff perhaps but what really happens, or happened when she goes to sleep. What is the fear of falling asleep? Is she scared she'll be dead when she wakes up or husband gone? There are other questions and you need to feed something to the reader. Besides saying things you need to explain the suffering and the why. Perhaps you might consider introducing a friend into the story who knows everything . Then through the friend things could get explained.I suggest you might like to go through the story and perhaps introduce a subplot. I think just doing that could put some more flesh onto your story and answer the question of why. Enjoyed the drama.
    Best wishes, keep writing
    Cleveland W. Gibson
    Moondust author

    Not rated
  • From Gill on Stay With Me

    A very poignant story that makes you think. Anyone reading this can easily feel for the character.

    Not rated