I really enjoyed the story but i do have a few critiques.!)The opening sentence isn't really gripping.I only read on because the opening title implied some form of conflict.2)The story doesn't really get going until paragraph 3.cut out the first 2 paragraphs.3)make the ending a bit more ironic.Also flesh out the characters a bit more,none of them stood out for me except the villain.Now for the stuff i liked.1)i liked how you gave us both viewpoints.it really allowed me to sympathize with the villain2)The kidnapping plotSo in short it was a really good story with a few flaws.
I really enjoyed the story but i do have a few critiques.!)The opening sentence isn't really gripping.I only read on because the opening title implied some form of conflict.2)The story doesn't really get going until paragraph 3.cut out the first 2 paragraphs.3)make the ending a bit more ironic.Also flesh out the characters a bit more,none of them stood out for me except the villain.Now for the stuff i liked.1)i liked how you gave us both viewpoints.it really allowed me to sympathize with the villain2)The kidnapping plotSo in short it was a really good story with a few flaws.