Luis A. Maldonado


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December 2015




Last Active
December 2015




Luis A. Maldonado's received comments

  • From nailah on The Spell

    Really good...and scary

    Not rated
  • From Daniel on The Birthday

    Too many punctuation and spelling / grammatical errors so only got half way through. Sorry.

    Not rated
  • From zam on The Birthday

    hey there
    i loved the story it was written from a dark place i suppose.
    i jus think you could have delved more into the main characters emotions.
    otherwise great peice!

    Not rated
  • From marko on The Birthday

    could somebody explain the ending to me please? i thought it was a very good story just didnt get the ending!

    Not rated
  • From Cleveland on The Sight

    Before this story shines it needs to be made shorter and more concise.Action/Dialogue/Action needs to be used as a recipe for a story of this type, simply for tension . But it doesn't happen, alas.
    Next consider a good edit. The 'hook' is too easy and if it's too easy the writer hasn't worked hard enough to capture the reader's interest. Also consider removing bits that add nothing to the story. For instance:
    "He looked around the car at his friends and knew that he wasn't alone but still the bitter taste of solitude enveloped him." Does it move the story forward? Ask yourself that question many , many times and your writing will improve.
    Consider overused words and words that may seem fine to use but are not. The word 'just' is a key example. 'Just' two inches above the coffee table is acceptable but not just a thought and so on.
    And the ending needs to be different. To provide a different ending is then something that will make you write better.

    Not rated
  • From mary chrostowski on The Sight

    Luis, I don't know how much writing
    exsperience you had with english but you didn't put in any commas. The story was great and I loved it. It did give me the creeps at certain spots and I was feeling what they felt.

    I wrote a book called, "Friends of Darkness." I went under a pen name as in my town I surely wouldn't have any peace from the middle school. The pen name is Elizabeth Cole just in case you want to get the book.
    It's my first book and I had a hard time editing it, so I'm sure it's not a perfect book.

    Not rated
  • From th&#39 Phisher on The Birthday

    Sad story. But I honestly saw no real character development; I saw no references to depression. But hey, work on your grammar and a few other things, and you'll be a suspenseful writer. Good job.

    Not rated