Sgs


Bio

User has not created a bio yet.

Joined
December 2015

Stories
1

Comments
1

Favourite
0

Last Active
December 2015

Reputation
210

Commented
0

Favourited
0

Sgs's received comments

  • From CG on Movin' On

    This writer does not have a BIO.
    But as this is a short piee it might be interesting to see if a writer who has work reviewed does edit and re-submits or even gets published after a review.
    There is plenty of work to be done on a short story like this. Though it seems interesting, though it is self -labeled by the writer as a romantic piece it is in need of beeing developed further.
    Go through and check spelling. I noted she came out as sh. Only a little thing but if I noticed so too would any editor.
    In spite of what you may have been told please add 'The End' to any electronic submision. Otherwise it is one of the fastest ways to obtain a rejection from an editor. With Windows it is possible to do a search on'The End' right right through a book and by finding it to be absent to reject the lot.
    Rather than 'tell' please show the reader what is happening.
    And aim to introduce some Action into the 'hook.'
    Something like:
    As she read the book on vampires for three minutes she became convinced they existed, enough to drop the book on the floor when she heard the stranger's footsteps in the library..
    Follow with a single word of dialogue. Your choice.
    Follow with more action.
    Repeat the formula through the rest of the story and watch how it changes. Action. Dialogue.Action. is all that 's needed to propduce a short stor that is readable.It also gets rid of the clutter of overwriting.
    Keep writing
    Good luck
    CG

    Not rated