Nancy Jacobson


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Joined
December 2015

Stories
1

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3

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December 2015

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  • From LeRoy Bohrer on The Dream Teller

    "The Dream Teller" held my attention, and I found it to be a very good read. The end,or is it, sounds like you may be preparing to write a sequal. I really hope you do.

    Not rated
  • From Cleveland on The Dream Teller

    I love reading stories from all over the world. Your story mentions the Native American element. I have a favourite the Nakota mystic and the folk lore around the Nakota tribe.
    However,back to your story.
    There is nothing wrong with your story as it stands but where it falls down is something which you must realise yourself.Only then you'll get an idea of pace and how 'softl.softly,catch a monkey.'
    Of course I'm refering to your opening paragraph. Take another read and consider all the details you've given to your reader.Why does it have to be like that? And how to draw the reader in gently and make them believe the story?
    I think you'll admit there is really only one central character to your story.And when the reader reaches the end of the story the identity of that person is still unknown.Name the person. Something to resolve right at the start to make the reader want to relate to that person.
    The story progresses and is somewhat predictable. When the end is reached the reader feels slightly cheated. All through the story you've created plot points but they've not come to fruition. So that has forced an ending on the reader which is demanding of an explaination. So what will you do to overcome that fault? It is a question that you alone must consider and address.
    But what I've said above deals exactly with your story. In my opinion I'd have an inclination to see this written in the first person. So the person in the 1st person situation disappears or dies. It is not an impossible problem to solve but would make the story more interesting. I'm a creative writer and have already worked out in my mind how and why and where and when this story should change. If I can stimulate your mind to think on a lateral path then I'll be happy. From a simple sugar sweet story might develop something of a drama , more griping than possibled imagined before.It all depends on plotpoints which you should study and become familiar with the term. There is something about plot points on the web, I'm sure there is.
    It's possoible you might totally disagree with me. So have a laugh with me. I've lost my ego so I'm not upset in the least. But if you fancy trying to get this published why not take a look at the www.footstepstooxford.co.uk website and submit. Nothing to lose and I know the editor is looking for submissions as she and her husband are pesonal family friends.
    Lastly, keep writing and good luck. Luck is the stuff we all need.
    Cleveland

    Not rated
  • From William C on The Dream Teller

    Your story held my attention, didn't slow down and paced itself rightly for the subject matter. While the ghost/haunting/supernatural theme might be a little familiar, I was glad to see that you included an 'or is it?' to The End, for it definitely felt like the first act of something that could progress into something quite imaginative.
    I've been searching for feedback myself, and as you've probably ascertained, it comes very rarely, so, if you have the time, I'd appreciate your own thoughts/suggestions for what I've posted so far, especially for the Tell-Tell Tag, which is more of a story than anything else I've submitted thus far. Thanks for a good read.

    Not rated