Im afraid.
Im afraid of so many stupid, contradictory things.
Im afraid of being alone
But I am also afraid of letting people in-
Afraid of getting hurt,
Of being misunderstood
Or changed;
Of being broken.
Its like Im stuck-
Trapped-
In a never-ending loop.
I break out, meet someone,
Fall in love,
Let them in,
And then they break me-
Betray me.
They hurt me
And I go back to being alone
And the cycle is never ending.
I cant seem to break free.
Every time I meet someone new,
They promise theyll save me,
And the funnier part is
That I am so fucking desperate
To be freed of the cycle
And to have someone completely love and accept me
That I believe them wholeheartedly.
Then the cycle continues
And Im alone.
Sometimes I think it would be best if I just stayed alone.
I just break that fear,
Rather than the other.
I just need to break the cycle.